for those of you who have been following the progression (or regression...however you want to put it) of my shoulders, here's their own update:
i went and saw the shoulder specialist, and he said that i have shoulder instability. basically, there's a cap of cartilage in the shoulder, and in my shoulder, it's loose. i'm currently going through therapy to tighten the muscles in my shoulder so that they can take the job of the cartilage cap on. that's the story in a nutshell.
-enna
Friday, May 22, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
"other times He calms His child"
not sure why, but i have a strange desire to post something sort of philosophical about my life. oh well. it's about time for an update anyway.
i'm going to start with the refrain of a song i hear periodically on the radio that has really stuck with me. (granted, i don't listen to the radio much, but when mom's got it on, i normally hear this song.) it's "Sometimes He Calms the Storm" by Scott Krippayne.
"Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered “peace be still”
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child"
sometimes, i think we forget that God's answer to our prayers isn't always a resounding "yes". sometime's it's a "not right now" or "I have something better for you". or, sometimes we expect Him to make our path perfectly smooth, without any bumps or roadblocks, sort of like Job's life before he was tested (see Job). but how are we to realize the true depths of our faith if we never have hardship? it's easy for a man who has never known difficulty to say that he believes in God, but will that same man still praise God in life's storms?
i'm sure you all are wanting me to get off my soapbox about now. sounds very preachy, doesn't it? sorry. :P but i can honestly say that i learned it the hard way...
i went through a very dry period in november and the beginning of december. actually, when i look back at my posts from that time, covering about six weeks, they are either a) papers i wrote, or b) nonsensical/crazy/just weirded out. suffice to say i was very confused. i felt like i was stuck in some sort of windstorm that would not let up. i could not figure out what was right or wrong; what was up or down. i'd been plunged into sheer confusion. it's difficult to describe...hmmm...ah, i know.
Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, "You are certainly God's Son!" (Matthew 14:24-33)
you're sinking...drowning...and He reaches out His hand and pulls you back. i remember one night, i cried out, and He came. am i still confused? oh heck yeah! but now i have found my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline...
hey, that reminds me of a song...
Anchor
I was drowning
In a sea of confusion
No help anywhere
No end in sight
I descended to the depths of despair
And then walking through the storm
He came
And offered His hand to me
I saw the hole there
And backed away
My stomach clenched in fear
Then He smiled and said
“Just let Me be your Friend
“Let Me be your Anchor
“Let Me be your Harbor from the storm
“Let Me be your Lifeline
“Trust in Me
“Let Me be your Anchor”
I took His hand
He pulled me out of the swirling depths of despair
Out of the despondency I’d descended to
I still ride the waves
The confusion is all around me
But I will not be overwhelmed
I will not be crushed
I will not be engulfed by this chaos
I know that even now
He is my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline
And I will not be moved
I will not be moved
He is my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline
And I trust Him
He is my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline
And I will not be moved
(fade out)
you know, i think these selections say what i wanted to say much better than i could. i'll leave it there.
-enna
i'm going to start with the refrain of a song i hear periodically on the radio that has really stuck with me. (granted, i don't listen to the radio much, but when mom's got it on, i normally hear this song.) it's "Sometimes He Calms the Storm" by Scott Krippayne.
"Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered “peace be still”
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child"
sometimes, i think we forget that God's answer to our prayers isn't always a resounding "yes". sometime's it's a "not right now" or "I have something better for you". or, sometimes we expect Him to make our path perfectly smooth, without any bumps or roadblocks, sort of like Job's life before he was tested (see Job). but how are we to realize the true depths of our faith if we never have hardship? it's easy for a man who has never known difficulty to say that he believes in God, but will that same man still praise God in life's storms?
i'm sure you all are wanting me to get off my soapbox about now. sounds very preachy, doesn't it? sorry. :P but i can honestly say that i learned it the hard way...
i went through a very dry period in november and the beginning of december. actually, when i look back at my posts from that time, covering about six weeks, they are either a) papers i wrote, or b) nonsensical/crazy/just weirded out. suffice to say i was very confused. i felt like i was stuck in some sort of windstorm that would not let up. i could not figure out what was right or wrong; what was up or down. i'd been plunged into sheer confusion. it's difficult to describe...hmmm...ah, i know.
Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, "You are certainly God's Son!" (Matthew 14:24-33)
you're sinking...drowning...and He reaches out His hand and pulls you back. i remember one night, i cried out, and He came. am i still confused? oh heck yeah! but now i have found my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline...
hey, that reminds me of a song...
Anchor
I was drowning
In a sea of confusion
No help anywhere
No end in sight
I descended to the depths of despair
And then walking through the storm
He came
And offered His hand to me
I saw the hole there
And backed away
My stomach clenched in fear
Then He smiled and said
“Just let Me be your Friend
“Let Me be your Anchor
“Let Me be your Harbor from the storm
“Let Me be your Lifeline
“Trust in Me
“Let Me be your Anchor”
I took His hand
He pulled me out of the swirling depths of despair
Out of the despondency I’d descended to
I still ride the waves
The confusion is all around me
But I will not be overwhelmed
I will not be crushed
I will not be engulfed by this chaos
I know that even now
He is my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline
And I will not be moved
I will not be moved
He is my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline
And I trust Him
He is my Anchor, my Harbor, my Lifeline
And I will not be moved
(fade out)
you know, i think these selections say what i wanted to say much better than i could. i'll leave it there.
-enna
Friday, May 8, 2009
i haven't posted anything really worthwhile about me life lately, and for this i apologize. so i'll cover about two months' worth of information.
something that has been very constant in my life since mid-February is pain. i'd tried to use hand paddles again just before the valentine's classic, and my shoulders have been extremely painful since then. it varies day to day as to how painful they are, exactly, but i hit a breaking point when i woke up monday and could barely move my shoulder. i couldn't pull when i tried swimming; it hurt too much. so i got to go to the doctor's this morning. i now am going to a shoulder specialist on the 18th. it's been two years since the problems started; it's time to figure out what's wrong.
my parents put our house on the market, so we've been getting it ready. it's been a long process. as much as i don't want to move, i'm ready to be done with it.
classes at the CC are almost over. i only have a class on monday left. i've really enjoyed the class this semester. art is a great stress reliever. i also get to take the class with a good friend, which has really spoiled me...we carpool as well, and it's weird now when i'm the only one in the car.
for 4H, i had the public presentations contest at the end of april. i performed a selection from Henry V, act V, scene i, by Shakespeare. i got an A grade, and was also named state fair delegate and best in show. i'm going to do fox in socks by dr. seuss for state fair. it's interesting as i learn how to wrap my tongue around it...oh well. "through three cheese trees, three free fleas flew. while these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze. that's what made these three free fleas sneeze." ;)
school is blah. 'nough said. :P
by way of books, i have discovered the writing of ted dekker. i read his book kiss, and was entranced by his writing. he holds you until the last page. it was GOOD and i recommend it to all. his website has his other books as well.
that's all i can think of for now...
-enna
something that has been very constant in my life since mid-February is pain. i'd tried to use hand paddles again just before the valentine's classic, and my shoulders have been extremely painful since then. it varies day to day as to how painful they are, exactly, but i hit a breaking point when i woke up monday and could barely move my shoulder. i couldn't pull when i tried swimming; it hurt too much. so i got to go to the doctor's this morning. i now am going to a shoulder specialist on the 18th. it's been two years since the problems started; it's time to figure out what's wrong.
my parents put our house on the market, so we've been getting it ready. it's been a long process. as much as i don't want to move, i'm ready to be done with it.
classes at the CC are almost over. i only have a class on monday left. i've really enjoyed the class this semester. art is a great stress reliever. i also get to take the class with a good friend, which has really spoiled me...we carpool as well, and it's weird now when i'm the only one in the car.
for 4H, i had the public presentations contest at the end of april. i performed a selection from Henry V, act V, scene i, by Shakespeare. i got an A grade, and was also named state fair delegate and best in show. i'm going to do fox in socks by dr. seuss for state fair. it's interesting as i learn how to wrap my tongue around it...oh well. "through three cheese trees, three free fleas flew. while these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze. that's what made these three free fleas sneeze." ;)
school is blah. 'nough said. :P
by way of books, i have discovered the writing of ted dekker. i read his book kiss, and was entranced by his writing. he holds you until the last page. it was GOOD and i recommend it to all. his website has his other books as well.
that's all i can think of for now...
-enna
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
apologies
The Battle of Zephanaia will NOT be out on June 1 as planned. i am very sorry, but my life has gotten in the way of the required revising that needs done. i do not yet know when it will be published, as i may have found a publishing company that is looking for this kind of book. i have yet to submit it. when i know a date, i will let you all know.
Friday, May 1, 2009
i haven't posted in a while. for this i apologize. life is crazy. surprise, surprise. anyway, i'm going to post a couple of somethings that i found. cheers. -enna
It Was Me
Hanging on Your Cross I see You
And I’m mortified
Who would do such a thing to You?
And then I realize it was me...
Me who betrayed You to the priests
Me who condemned You without mercy
Me who scourged Your Back so holy
I can’t ask who crucified You
Because it was me
I see the blood on Your Head
Dripping from Your crown of thorns
I wonder how they could bear to do this to You
And then I realize it was me
Me who laughed and spit and mocked You
Me who beat the crown on Your Head
Me who ridiculed You before the world
I can’t ask who crucified You
Because it was me
I beg forgiveness!
I beg Your mercy!
I beg for what I could not give
When it was...
Me who had You carry
The cross You were to die on
Me who nailed You to that cross
Me who cast lots for your clothes even as You died...
Now I ask You Lord...
Why, when it was me?
And then in the silence of my heart
You come and answer me
“Because I love you
“That’s why I came to die
“And I came to die for you...
“You who scourged Me when I was down
“You who hung me on My Cross
“You who killed me with your sins
“I came to die for you
“Because I love you”
Thank You, Lord, for coming
And setting me free
On the bittersweet Cross that saved me
Even though it was me
Someday
Someday I want
To make a difference in someone’s life
Someday I want
To have someone love me for me
Someday I want
To find God’s plan for me
Someday I want
Him to set me free
Why must I wait for someday?
Who is holding me back?
Should I have to wait for someday?
Or can I fulfill all that He wants for me today?
Someday I’d like
To show people the way to Christ
Someday I’d love
To learn what dreams are made of
Someday I want
To be held in someone’s arms
And know for sure
That I am loved
Why must I wait for someday?
Who is holding me back?
Should I have to wait for someday?
Or can I fulfill all that He wants for me today?
Can my needs be met?
Can all my dreams be heard?
Or do my wishes seem absurd?
Will I ever know
What it means
To fulfill a dream?
Why must I wait for someday?
Who is holding me back?
Should I have to wait for someday?
Or can I fulfill all that He wants for me today?
It Was Me
Hanging on Your Cross I see You
And I’m mortified
Who would do such a thing to You?
And then I realize it was me...
Me who betrayed You to the priests
Me who condemned You without mercy
Me who scourged Your Back so holy
I can’t ask who crucified You
Because it was me
I see the blood on Your Head
Dripping from Your crown of thorns
I wonder how they could bear to do this to You
And then I realize it was me
Me who laughed and spit and mocked You
Me who beat the crown on Your Head
Me who ridiculed You before the world
I can’t ask who crucified You
Because it was me
I beg forgiveness!
I beg Your mercy!
I beg for what I could not give
When it was...
Me who had You carry
The cross You were to die on
Me who nailed You to that cross
Me who cast lots for your clothes even as You died...
Now I ask You Lord...
Why, when it was me?
And then in the silence of my heart
You come and answer me
“Because I love you
“That’s why I came to die
“And I came to die for you...
“You who scourged Me when I was down
“You who hung me on My Cross
“You who killed me with your sins
“I came to die for you
“Because I love you”
Thank You, Lord, for coming
And setting me free
On the bittersweet Cross that saved me
Even though it was me
Someday
Someday I want
To make a difference in someone’s life
Someday I want
To have someone love me for me
Someday I want
To find God’s plan for me
Someday I want
Him to set me free
Why must I wait for someday?
Who is holding me back?
Should I have to wait for someday?
Or can I fulfill all that He wants for me today?
Someday I’d like
To show people the way to Christ
Someday I’d love
To learn what dreams are made of
Someday I want
To be held in someone’s arms
And know for sure
That I am loved
Why must I wait for someday?
Who is holding me back?
Should I have to wait for someday?
Or can I fulfill all that He wants for me today?
Can my needs be met?
Can all my dreams be heard?
Or do my wishes seem absurd?
Will I ever know
What it means
To fulfill a dream?
Why must I wait for someday?
Who is holding me back?
Should I have to wait for someday?
Or can I fulfill all that He wants for me today?
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