everybody's fool

Perfect by nature
Icons of self-indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that


Never was and never will be
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled


Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she


Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled


Without the mask where will you hide?
Can't find yourself lost in your lie
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore


It never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled


It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool



This isn't really all that off a portrayal. We sure as heck know that women are objectified by the media. Nor are the images of women normally even what the model looks like. YouTube has ALL KINDS of videos like this one...just look at some of the ones they have on the sidebar. I have a question, media people.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH WHAT I LOOK LIKE?

What is wrong with what women look like?

What is wrong with what we ARE?

This isn't me! I am physically incapable of looking like that! And this is what someone who knows very little about the art of photo retouching did in half an hour. The real picture?

I didn't do anything to this one. It's from about a year ago.

Kinda scary, isn't it? We've brainwashed and blackmailed women and men into believing in a standard of beauty that just isn't possible. As such, women feel pressured to turn themselves into objects that only look pretty. We become everybody's fool because our faces aren't what they were. Plastic surgery, pancake makeup, teeth whitening...the list goes on and on.

Even I feel the pressure. I look at that retouched picture and wonder why on earth I even bothered. Quite frankly, it makes me feel terrible about myself. Women want to be admired and loved, and the fastest way to get anything remotely related to that type of attention is through our face. The media forces models and stars into terror that their image isn't perfect and that they must keep it up in order to keep their jobs. Even those of us who don't spend our every waking second on our looks feel the pressure.

The pressure to lie about who we really are and that we aren't perfect. Our faces aren't perfect, our figures aren't perfect, and our lives aren't perfect. I can't look like that. So I stand before you, an imperfect woman with imperfect looks, an imperfect body, and a really messed-up life.

But I won't let the media turn me into everybody's fool.

-enna

there was an old lady who swallowed a fly

This was a post I wrote for a psychology discussion board. (And yes, it was classified under philosophy for my blog posts. Ignore that and move on.) Our assignment was to take a nursery rhyme and apply the theories of personality - the chapter we just had to read - to that nursery rhyme. And we were supposed to include the rhyme for our classmates. I chose "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly". Nice, cheery topic. We also had to explain the theories, so this will actually make sense to non-psychology students who read my blog! Yay!

Anyway, enjoy! :)

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly,
I guess she'll die.


There was an old lady who swallowed a spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.


There was an old lady who swallowed a bird.
How absurd to swallow a bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.


There was an old lady who swallowed a cat.
Imagine that, she swallowed a cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.


There was an old lady who swallowed a dog.
My what a hog, to swallow a dog.
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat, to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
I guess she'll die.


There was an old lady who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed a cow.
She swallowed the cow to catch the dog.
She swallowed the dog, to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird.
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider,
that wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
I don't know why she swallowed the fly
I guess she'll die.


I know an old lady who swallowed a horse...
She's dead of course!
-Words by Rose Bonne

~~

Maybe I have a morbid sense of humor, but the moment I saw "nursery rhyme", "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly" popped into my head. If Alfred Adler were to look at this crazy old lady who thinks that she should eat a bunch of animals, he'd probably think, "AHA! Perfect proof for my birth order theory!" According to his theory, birth order affects personality. The eldest is an over-achiever in an attempt to reclaim the affections of the parents, the middle child gets to both boss little siblings around and knock the eldest off the high chair (literally and figuratively), and the youngest is protected and coddled and ends up with low self esteem.

Our little old lady who apparently couldn't stop eating weird things was obviously suffering from eldest child problems. She felt inferior to her sister, the lady who lived in a shoe, and so felt the need to compensate. For lack of originality, she decided to swallow a fly. But that wasn't very comfortable (and her sister remained unimpressed) so she swallowed a spider. That was even WORSE! So she kept going and going and going...until it was too late and "She's dead, of course!" after trying to eat a horse. Poor lady.

She also probably had a neurotic personality that Karen Horney talked about. According to Horney, children are born with "basic anxiety" because the world is so much bigger than they are. If parents bestow love, affection, and security on their children, then they will most likely overcome their basic anxiety. If not, the children will develop neurotic personalities. This means that they could become dependent and clingy, or aggressive, demanding, and cruel, or withdrawal from other people. This lady became so dependent on the good will of her parents that she was willing to go to crazy lengths to solidify her position with them, including eating a cat and a dog. Neuroses are strange things indeed.

Now you'll probably never look at that little old lady the same way again.

-enna

never gonna be alone

You're watching the video first. No questions, no skipping. Once you watch the video, you may continue to the rest of the post.



Time, is going by, so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of here with you
Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside
So I'm starting to regret not selling all of it to you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know


You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone


And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands
'Cause forever I believe
That there's nothing I could need but you
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know


You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone


Oh, you've gotta live every single day
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away, could be our only one
You know it's only just begun, every single day
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes


Time is going by so much faster than I
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you


You're never gonna be alone from this moment on
If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on
We're gonna see the world out, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone


I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day
I'm gonna be there always
I won't be missing a word all day

~~

This video makes me want to cry. I kid you not. I'm not a crier; not sure if I've stated it before, but I generally don't cry unless something's bottled up inside that I finally let out. (Or my hormones are doing their wonky dance thing. But I don't count that.)


How often have you wished that you would never be alone? Who doesn't wish at some point in their lives that someone would be there for them, no matter what happened? We are always looking for someone who will be there for us through thick and thin, richer or poorer, sickness or health. Someone who won't give up on us no matter what. Someone to believe in us even when, quite frankly, we don't believe in ourselves.

Calvin has Hobbes. Peanut butter has its jelly. Pen has paper. Left has right. Yes has no.

We all have the desire to find our jelly. I'm not referencing to the sandwich, I mean the soul mate type stuff. (Note here that I'm not talking about soul mates, it's just similar to what I'm referencing.) We are social beings and we desire human contact.

And we'll never be alone. We all have friends and family who stand by us no matter what happens. These people love us and care for us. It doesn't matter how many times we mess up. I know I do so over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over *takes a breath* and over and over and over and over and over and over...yet my family and friends love me anyway. And believe you me, I've had some really bad screw-ups. (Ok, they could be a lot
worse, but for my circle they're pretty bad.)

Your family and friends will love you no matter what. If your friends don't, then they weren't really friends in the first place. But your family will always love you and be there for you. Even if you feel lower than dirt, someone, somewhere loves you. And if you aren't in a good family situation, Someone still loves you. And He'll never make sure you're never alone.

-enna

graphic designers, quit complainin'

As I'm sure you've noticed, I've been experimenting with backgrounds a lot lately. I'm trying to come up with something that isn't too busy with a base dark color - it's easier to read electronically when you have light text on dark backgrounds versus the opposite. Anyway, while I liked the last background, it was too busy. So, this is my "holding" background while I make another attempt to come up with something simple and easy-to-read.

Which means, graphic designers, please stop complaining to me. I WILL FIX IT! I PROMISE! Just not today.

-enna

philosophy of swans

I'm sure you're asking, "Why swans?" "It's a pretty bird. Whoop-dee-doo." "How can a BIRD have PHILOSOPHY?"

The swan is a symbol. It is no longer just a white bird. It depicts innocence, beauty, gracefulness, love, and gentleness. (Though I don't understand the last...swans can be almost as mean as geese.)


Before I start pondering swans as symbols of our culture, I'd like you to read a story. It's not one I wrote, sadly. I was reminded when I read The Swan Kingdom by Zoe Marriott. Her novel was based on a Hans Christen Anderson story, which in turn was based on one of the Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm, which happens to be one of my favorite Grimm fairy tales (though if hard-pressed, I'd say almost every one of them was my favorite, and I've read all of them). If you'd like to read it, go here to read it. I typed it out and stuck it in a separate blog post so that this one wouldn't be ridiculously long with both a short story AND a philosophical bent.

First off, how many of you have actually seen a swan in the wild? Ok, sure, they're pretty. But SERIOUSLY? These birds can be as bad as geese! They bite, chase, and aren't afraid to use their wings as weapons. This seems more like a role model for a "innocent in appearance but unafraid to kick butt" (excuse me) type character, not purity and innocence.

So why do we associate swans with purity and innocence? Well, how often do you see someone turned into a BLACK swan? Think about it for a second. Whenever a good guy is turned into a swan by a bad guy (The Swan Kingdom, The Swan Princess, Swan Lake, to name a few), they become WHITE swans. Not black. So apparently it's the white that is the key. But aren't doves white too? (I'll go ahead and answer that.) Yes, they are. But doves don't look nearly as majestic as swans. Plus, swans are bigger.

So, now apparently the question is, "Why white?" Why should purity be represented by dignity? After all, a bride wears white to signify her purity. (Granted, this is in Western culture - in the Middle East, brides wear red. But that's another story for another day when I've actually had a chance to research said cultural difference.) I'll list some reasons that I think white is used...if you think differently, or have additions, feel free to add them!

>White is clean. That first snowfall looks so crisp and beautiful, pristine in its glittery white coldness. Yellow snow just doesn't have the same clean feel to it. (That may be because of what CAUSES yellow snow, but muddy snow doesn't have the same effect either.)

>White is pure. Think about the color for a second. When you have blue, and a little smudge of red and mix it together, it's still blue, just a slightly different shade. If I take that same little smudge of red and mix it with the white, I now have pink. No more white.

>White is clean. I know I've said this already, but colors show up differently when placed against white. They look more drastic, far more different than when placed in an environment. The cleanliness makes it easy to see when a white shirt gets the barest stain, or when a white lamb rolls around in the mud.

The cleanliness and purity of white make it an ideal color to represent purity and innocence (which could be loosely described as the cleanliness of the mind and spirit). While generally purity is represented in symbolism by a white rose, it's rather difficult to move around and seek a way to return to human form if you're a rose. Hence the swan.

Or at least, that's what I think. I could be totally off my rocker, but that's OK. At least I admit it's a possibility.

-enna