being true to oneself

this was brought up by one of my friends tonight, and i really feel the need to address it moreso than i already did. so here is what she said on the topic:

just be yourself. What is the meaning of that phrase? How can one be himself when one is influenced by experiences and people? One does not know right away how to act, how to speak, how to do things. One looks around, sees what others are doing, and tries to copy what they are doing. What I'm trying to say is, how can someone be himself when everything about him is influenced by those around him? A person is one being, yes, but as a baby, one looks up to parents or siblings or both. One's actions are influenced by family and friends. So, what does being yourself truly mean?

i commented:

yes, you are influenced by what is around us. but there is something within us that is "you," per se. something that gives each person his or her individuality - the soul. no two souls are identical. some fit together better than others, but the soul cannot be influenced; hence, this is why i can listen to rap and rock, while my family shuns it. my family is closest to me; so if who we truly are was influenced by those closest, i wouldn't like either form of music. but because i have a soul that is completely separate from theirs, *i* am ME - a unique individual with my own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. someone could clone me, and that clone would not BE me; she would have her own soul. (not that i'm endorsing cloning - just an example.) finding yourself...now that is a journey that each person must take on his or her own. and it's a lifelong journey...you never stop learning about who you are. however, if you want to really speed up the process and get a general idea about you, i *highly* recommend spending an hour in silence once a week. just sit and open your heart to God. He'll tell you what you need to know.

now i wish to embellish more on the topic...so bear with me, please. the soul makes a person who we are. without our soul, we would be like a bunch of animals. i don't pretend to be a philosopher, or a theologian, or even a great thinker. but something must make a person a true individual, even if they have identical DNA.

ok, here's an example...about a wk ago or so, i posted my list of qualities for my perfect guy. something that i did not include on that list trumps all of it...i didn't include it because i didn't know how to put it. i can actually know lots of guys with most or all of the qualities on that list...but those don't make a guy RIGHT for me. there is a particular "something" that he's gotta have...and i don't know how to explain it, exactly. something within HIM, within who he TRULY is, must be right. that trumps everything on the list i posted...that stuff does still matter, but that is the most important thing.

guys with lots of my perfect qualities...all of whom seem like they would make a perfect match...but only ONE guy will have that "something" that makes him (this is corny) my soulmate. this is the best example i can think of...

i'm no philosopher...or theologian...or scientist...or even a great thinker. i am just me.

-enna