In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
God, You know that
I'm not exactly happy with You
At the moment.
Life is topsy-turvy
My head is
Spinning
Round and round
The signs are leaning
Against the porch
A constant reminder when
I pull in the drive
My home
Is now
Just a house for sale
WHY THAT CITY??
WHY NOW?
Why do we have to go
Where we don't know?
Why do my final years of high school
Have to be so full of
Turmoil
Stress
Craziness
And new things?
Isn't high school crazy enough?
Wasn't it enough that
I was leaving anyway in a year?
Sure, I like to see new places - and then go home
Sure, I like to meet new people - when I'm with my friends
I'm TERRIFIED of it!
I'm an introvert!
Not a really bad one
But an introvert all the same
No chance of me knowing anyone
Over there
No chance of a friend to latch onto
Wait...
Oh
You want me to be without them?
You want me to learn how to go through life
Without leaning constantly on them?
You want me to learn how to live my life
Without being entirely dependent on them?
Am I too dependent on them and
Not dependent enough on You?
I guess
If I am honest with myself
You are right
They will not always be there
(Physically, anyway)
They will be a phone call away
An email away
A letter away
But not physically there with me
I need to learn
How to function
On my own
You have a plan
It's a good one
I can't see it all right now
I have to let go
My illusion of control
And let You be the Pilot
I need to remember my lesson from TEC:
"Don't anticipate; participate!"
Let You handle it all
You have the perfect plan for me
And I just need to trust
That You will bring it to fruition
And that You
Know what's best for me
Your little girl
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Oh
And You don't mind
If we do this all again tomorrow
Like we did yesterday
Right?
Good
I knew You'd understand.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
such be life
for those of you who were unaware, Lent began on wednesday. and i gave up internet (except for school-related) during the week (monday-friday). SO no chance to update.
i had a crazy monday. also crazy tuesday (well, that's to be expected). i did go dancing after work, and left completely UNcomfortable with the dance. i didn't go back to that dance class. it was tuesday through thursday, with a dance on friday. it was not something i'd do again. well, correction - not something i'd do except with my husband (which, at the moment, means i'm not doing it).
since wednesday, i've been getting up early(ish). usually 5:45. oh, and did i mention that it was voluntary? since i have trouble incorporating a time to have silent prayer into my life once i get up and going, i decided that i'd get up 15 minutes before whenever it was i had to be up and pray then. although it's been tiring, i find my spirit to be more joyful during the day because of that prayer time.
and i had a very happy surprise in the mail on thursday...a reply from a publisher! :D :D :D i'd sent my manuscript to Vantage Press a week or so before, and they sent me a letter saying they'd received the manuscript and they'd get back to me in a few weeks; could i please fill out the questionnaire and read the catalog while i waited. *is totally excited* it's one thing to publish on lulu.com, but to send my manuscript somewhere and get a letter that does *not* say "i'm sorry, your material is not acceptable" or something similar is extremely exciting. :D :D :D
and i had districts yesterday. blah. ick. pffft. i didn't want to go. i was forced because of a relay. and said relay ended up scratched anyway because one of the other members went to texas. i did horrible. well, what *i* call horrible. it wasn't as bad as it *could* have been. i just didn't drop any time. :P i *hate* stagnating!! grrrrr. :P the only *good* thing is that i didn't qualify for finals. :D (yes, i do call that a good thing. yes, i'm very weird. your point?)
oh well. another update on my unusual doings next week! oh, and here's a few of the pictures i promised.
i had a crazy monday. also crazy tuesday (well, that's to be expected). i did go dancing after work, and left completely UNcomfortable with the dance. i didn't go back to that dance class. it was tuesday through thursday, with a dance on friday. it was not something i'd do again. well, correction - not something i'd do except with my husband (which, at the moment, means i'm not doing it).
since wednesday, i've been getting up early(ish). usually 5:45. oh, and did i mention that it was voluntary? since i have trouble incorporating a time to have silent prayer into my life once i get up and going, i decided that i'd get up 15 minutes before whenever it was i had to be up and pray then. although it's been tiring, i find my spirit to be more joyful during the day because of that prayer time.
and i had a very happy surprise in the mail on thursday...a reply from a publisher! :D :D :D i'd sent my manuscript to Vantage Press a week or so before, and they sent me a letter saying they'd received the manuscript and they'd get back to me in a few weeks; could i please fill out the questionnaire and read the catalog while i waited. *is totally excited* it's one thing to publish on lulu.com, but to send my manuscript somewhere and get a letter that does *not* say "i'm sorry, your material is not acceptable" or something similar is extremely exciting. :D :D :D
and i had districts yesterday. blah. ick. pffft. i didn't want to go. i was forced because of a relay. and said relay ended up scratched anyway because one of the other members went to texas. i did horrible. well, what *i* call horrible. it wasn't as bad as it *could* have been. i just didn't drop any time. :P i *hate* stagnating!! grrrrr. :P the only *good* thing is that i didn't qualify for finals. :D (yes, i do call that a good thing. yes, i'm very weird. your point?)
oh well. another update on my unusual doings next week! oh, and here's a few of the pictures i promised.
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