yep...so, ya know how i was saying the Valentine's Classic is my second-to-last meet? well...umm...it may not be. the 15-21 girls' medley relay we swam was only 11 seconds away from a state qualifying time...if we drop 11 seconds at districts, we'll be going to state. O.O first time fo' me...and no, it's not an outlandish drop - we dropped 20 seconds today. that's 5 seconds apiece! we'd only have to drop 2.5-3 seconds apiece to get to state...we're gonna go for it! :) anyway, the lowdown on my individual events: (event - original time new time)
50 freestyle - :33.10 32.99
100 freestyle - 1:19 1:14
100 backstroke - 1:29 1:26
100 breaststroke - 1:33 1:36 (i was mad at myself for this one :P)
ok, the rest of the post will go in this order: story, longing, quote - enjoy :) (btw - nothing in this post is fictional.)
rewind to the summer....
most people do not drive twelve passenger vans around. even fewer of these vans are the particular shade of blue-green that characterizes our van. so, when i drive it, i am...shall we say...easy to recognize. on this particular day, i needed to fill said van's gas tank after signing up for physics class. do you have ANY idea how hard it is to maneuver a van that size around a crowded gas station lot? lemme tell ya, it ain't no trip in da park. i drove around the dratted lot three times TRYING to find an open pump (that i could pull the behemoth i was driving into). i was, needless to say (though i'll say it anyway), very frustrated by the time i found a spot. as i pulled next to the pup, i happened to see something in my left sideview mirror. i thought i was seeing things. i quickly finished pulling in, turned off the van, and hopped out as quickly as i could.
he was there. it was the last place in the world i'd expected to see him, yet he was walking toward me with the smile that melts my heart every time i see it. i found out (after asking "what are you doing here???") that his job (construction) had him painting the inside of the Jimmy John's that was connected to the gas station. he'd seen the van during his break (duh...how could you miss it?) and followed me around the parking lot. it was such a small thing...but the few minutes we were able to chat made my day...just remembering it makes me smile now. i can't explain how...i'm not good enough with words...i can't explain how happy that made me or why it struck such a chord. but it did. :)
now, for philo...
longing...i'm not talking about a want here. we all "want" stuff - a faster computer, chocolate, better grades - but these are wants ONLY. they may seem like pressing needs at the time, but they are not truly what we NEED. they satisfy only temporarily and leave no lasting impression.
to use a quote from the movie the tale of despereaux, we are "full of longing". the princess longed for sunlight and for rain - for her kingdom to be a joyful place once more. we also long for the things that bring lasting joy. the things we long for may not always be easy to find or maintain, but they bring a joy that is not easily dispelled.
to illustrate, i'll name a few of my own longings. i think it should be fairly obvious where the joys come from.
-i long for the Eucharist. who doesn't long to partake of the Bread of Life?
-i long for love. we as humans were made to love God and to seek love - for God *is* love. our longing for love is the manifestation of our search for God in each person we meet.
-i long for music as a starving child longs for bread or a man in a desert longs for water. (not that this would be hard to figure out, knowing me...) ;)
-i long for heaven.
-i long for truth.
-i long for peace.
-i long for acceptance. as i am, no ifs, ands, or buts - just for who i am.
-i long for Love. (it bears repeating.)
and, last but not least, the quote from a very special Book. :)
"If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have all faith so as to move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
"Love never fails.
"If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then shall I know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three, but the greatest of these is love." -1 Cor 13
-enna
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