unchanged

For those who don't know, a new rock band called Satus Lucis is working on their first album. As a first in this blog, I will let it be known that I am the lead singer and songwriter for this new band, and I wanted to share this new draft of a song called Unchanged with you today. It's not done, but I do like this particular draft, and it inspires a lot of questions.

Swirling around me
Blowing through me
Knock me over
Smack me down
Chaos it seems
Reigns supreme
Within and without
Take me out

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Just leave me alone
And let me be unchanged

Propelling me forward
Driving me ahead
Knock me over
Smack me down
Riding hurricanes
Toward a change
Within and without
Take me out

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Just leave me alone
And let me be unchanged

Just leave me alone…

Give me peace
Transitions
Have no serenity
Mundanity
Has tranquility

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Won’t leave me alone
And let me be unchanged

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Can’t leave me alone
So I’m not unchanged

 This song is decidedly different any other songs I've written, especially "Fear", which utilizes part of the poem I posted earlier this year (and will be released as a single later this week). I am not normally angry, and as such, do not typically write such an angst-ridden song. I almost always have a resolution that is pleasing to the reader and to me, as the writer. In a way, we think that if a story or song has a happy ending - or at least ends with some feeling of resolution - we have a chance at a final resolution in whatever we do. Preferably one that we like.

That is not always the case.

In this instance, we are looking at change. We all like some kind of change, yes? For those in high school, they eagerly await the completion of high school so that they can move on to college and living on their own. For college students, there's the change of supporting oneself and having a full time job after however many years of study. Real life. For parents, there's a major change after a child is born. Most of the time, these are desirable changes - things we all want.

But how do we get to change? There has to be a transition - a moving from one thing toward another. We don't instantly teleport from complete satisfaction in one thing to complete satisfaction in a new one. Transitions don't happen instantaneously. Transitions are rough. They beat you up. They make you question and think and wonder and fear and pray. Transitions are suffering and pain.

We don't like pain. Is there anyone in the readership that actually LIKES to go through pain? That LIKES to feel confused and scared because you don't know what will happen next? We may like change - but we don't like pain. And change involves transitions. Transitions are painful.

We sometimes feel that a change is just too much. For example, lots of people want to lose weight. So they diet and exercise. Eventually, many of them stop because they don't think they can go through the  difficult time of losing the weight. So they stop.

This song addresses the next question: are they truly unchanged?

No. Even if we don't complete the transition process, we do not come out of something exactly the same as when we entered. We can't. This transition, knocking and smacking, has taken time and energy. Even if we leave, you can never be the same after riding a hurricane as you were before. The driving force of a transition to a complete change is such that even if you don't finish, you don't walk away unchanged.

Life is change. Even if we don't want that change, it's still going to grab us by the ears and throw us around. We may leave, but it
Can't leave me alone
So I'm not unchanged

-enna