the six swans

This is the fairy tale by the Grimm brothers that was later the basis for a Hans Christen Anderson story. So no, I didn't write this, but I love this story. I hope you enjoy!
-enna

The Six Swans

Once there was a king who was hunting in a vast forest, and he began chasing a deer so intensely that none of his men could follow him. When evening drew near, he stopped, looked around him, and realized he was lost. He searched for a way out of the forest but was unable to find one. Then he caught sight of an old woman, nodding her head back and forth and heading toward him. She was, however, a witch. 

Tolkienmaster - The Six Swans

"Dear  woman," he said to her, "can you show me the way out of the forest?"

"Oh, yes, Your Majesty," she answered. "I certainly can, but on one condition, and if you don't fulfill it, you'll never find your way out of the forest, and you will starve to death."

"What kind of condition?" asked the king. 

"I have a daughter," said the old woman, "who is as beautiful as any maiden in the world. Indeed, she is worthy to be your wife, and if you make her your queen, I'll show you the way out of the forest."

The king was so tremendously frightened that he consented, and the old woman led him to her little hut, where her daughter was sitting by the fire. The maiden greeted the king as though she had been expecting him, and he observed that she was very beautiful. Nevertheless, he did not like her, and he could not look at her without secretly shuddering. After he had lifted the maiden onto his horse, the old woman showed him the way, and once the king reached the royal palace again, the wedding was celebrated. 

The king had already been married before this, and he had seven children by his first wife, six boys and a girl, whom he loved more than anything in the world. Since he now feared that the stepmother might not treat them well and might even harm them, he brought them to a solitary castle in the middle of a forest. It lay so well concealed and the way to it was so hard to find that he himself would not have found it if a wise woman had not given him a ball of yarn with magic powers. When he threw the ball before him, the yarn unwound itself and showed him the way. 

Now, the king went out to visit his dear children so often that the queen began to notice his absences. Since she was curious and wanted to know what he was doing out in the forest all alone, she gave his servants a great deal of money, and they revealed the secret. They also told her about the ball of yarn that alone could show her the way. For a while she had no peace of mind, but she finally discovered where the king kept the ball. Then she made small white silk shirts, and she used the witchcraft that she had learned from her mother to sew a magic spell into them. 

One day when the king had gone hunting, she took the little shirts, went out into the forest, and let the ball of yarn show her the way. When the children saw someone coming in the distance, they thought their dear father was coming to see them and ran joyfully out to greet him. But she threw a shirt over each one of them, and as soon as they were touched by the shirts, they were turned into swans and flew away over the forest. The queen went home delighted with herself, thinking that she was rid of her stepchildren. However, the girl had not run outside with her brothers, and the queen knew nothing about the girl. 

The following day the king went to visit his children, but he found only the girl. 

"Where are your brothers?" the king asked. 

"Oh, dear Father," she answered, "they've gone away and left me alone." And she told him how, from her window, she had seen her brothers turn into swans, and how they had flown away over the forest. Then she showed him the feathers that they had dropped in the yard and left for her to gather. 

The king mourned for his sons but had no idea that the queen had done this evil deed. Yet, he did fear that his daughter might also be stolen from him, and he wanted to take her with him. However, she was afraid of the stepmother and begged the king to allow her to spend one last night in the forest castle. I can't stay here any longer, the poor girl thought. I shall go and search for my brothers. 

When night came, she fled the castle and went straight into the forest. she walked the whole night long and the entire next day without stopping, until she became so exhausted that she could go no farther. Then she saw a hut, and after entering it, she found a room with six small beds. Since she was afraid to lie down in any of the beds, she crawled underneath one and lay down on the hard floor, intending to spend the night there. However, just when the sun was about to set, she heard a rustling sound and saw six swans come flying through the window. They landed on the floor and blew at each other until all their feathers were blown off. After that their swan skins slipped off like shirts. The maiden observed all this, and when she recognized her brothers, she rejoiced and crawled out from under the bed. Her brothers were delighted to see their little sister, but their joy was short-lived. 

"You can't stay here," they said to her. "This is a robbers' den. When they come home and find you here, they'll kill you."

"Can't you protect me?" asked their sister.

"No," they replied. "You see, we can take off our swan skins for only a quarter of an hour every evening. During this time we assume our human form, but after that we're changed back into swans."

Their sister wept and asked, "Can't you be set free?"

"We don't think so," they said. "The conditions are too hard. You'd have to go six years without speaking to anyone or laughing, and during this time you'd have to sew six little shirts for us made of asters. If just one single word were to fall from your lips, then all your work would be for naught."

Nevertheless, the maiden decided to set her brothers free, even if it might cost her her life. She left the hut, went into the middle of the forest, climbed a tree, and spent the night there. The next morning she got down, gathered asters, and began to sew. She could not talk to anyone, nor did she have a desire to laugh: she just sat there and concentrated on her work. 

After she had spent a long time there, the king of the country happened to go hunting in the forest, and his huntsmen came to the tree where the maiden was perched. They called to her and said, "Who are you?

She did not answer. 

"Come down to us," they said. "We won't harm you."

She merely shook her head. When they continued to bother her with questions, she threw them her golden necklace and thought that would satisfy them. Yet, they persisted. Then she threw them her girdle, and when this did not work either, she threw down her garters and little by little everything that she had on and could do without until she had nothing but her little shift. Still the huntsmen did not let themselves be deterred by all this. They climbed the tree, carried her down, and led her to the king, who asked, "Who are you, and what were you doing in that tree?"

She did not answer. He tried questioning her in all the languages he knew, but she remained as silent as a fish. Eventually, her beauty moved the king's heart, and he fell deeply in love with her. He covered her with his cloak, lifted her onto his horse, and brought her to his castle. There he had her dressed in rich garments, and her beautiful features were as radiant as the day is bright. Still, it was impossible to get her to utter a single word. He had her sit next to him at the table, and her modest ways and her polite manners pleased him so much that he said, "This maiden is the one I shall marry and no other woman in the world except her."

Within a few days he married her, but the king had an evil mother, who was dissatisfied with this marriage and spoke ill of the young queen. 

"That wench! Why won't she speak?" she said. "Where does she come from? She's not worthy of a king."

A year later, when the queen gave birth to her first child, the old woman took the child away from her and smeared the queen's mouth with blood while she was asleep. Then the old woman went to the king and accused the young queen of being a cannibal. The king refused to believe this and would not tolerate anyone harming his wife. Meanwhile, the queen continued to sit and sew the shirts, and did not pay attention to anything else. 

The next time, she gave birth to another handsome boy, and her wicked mother-in-law tried the same deception, but the king could not bring himself to believe the charges brought against his wife. 

"She's too pious and good," he said. "She'd never do anything like that. If she could talk, she could defend herself, and her innocence would come to light." 

However, when the old woman stole the third newborn baby and accused the queen, who did not say one word in her own defense, the king could do nothing but hand her over to a court, which condemned her to death by fire. 

The day came for the sentence to be carried out, but it was also the last day of the six years during which she had not been allowed to speak or laugh. Indeed, this meant that she had set her brothers free from the power of the magic spell. The six shirts were finished except for the left sleeve of the last shirt. When the queen was led to the stake, she carried the shirts over her arm, and as she stood on the stack of wood and the fire was about to be lit, she looked up and saw the six swans come flying through the air. Now she knew that her rescue was near at hand, and her heart jumped for joy. The swans swooped down and landed close by so that she could throw the shirts over them. As soon as the shirts touched them, the swan skins fell off, and her brothers stood before her in the flesh. They looked handsome and vigorous. Only the youngest was missing his left arm, and he had a swan's wing on his shoulder instead. They embraced and kissed each other, and the queen went up to the king, who was quite stunned by all this. 

"Dearest husband," she said. "Now I may speak and tell you that I'm innocent and was unjustly accused."

She told him how the old woman had been deceiving him and had taken away her three children and hidden them. Then, to the king's great joy, the children were brought to him, and as a punishment the wicked mother-in-law was tied to the stake and burned to ashes. Thereafter, the king and queen, along with her six brothers, lived for many years in peace and happiness.

ye olde english faire

So, I just found out that there's an Olde English Faire this weekend nearby. My initial reaction?


"HECK YES THIS IS AWESOME!!!"


I'm a BIG fan of everything medieval...especially swords. Swords are awesome. Something I do occasionally when I feel the need to prove my geekiness is pull out my catalog of swords, armor, and other such medieval things (yes, I actually have one...you can order one for yourself here, and the catalog is much more interesting looking than the website, plus it's free). This stuff is FULLY FUNCTIONAL (well, most of it...the stuff that isn't is far scarcer than that which is) and AWESOME. Sorry, geek moment. I just wish I had enough money to buy out the store...or heck, just buy myself a sword. Because that would be THE BOMB.

Anyway, I did put this under "philosophy" for a reason, and I promise it wasn't to rant and rave about how much I am a fan of medieval things like this. Granted, I probably COULD fill an entire post with nothing but that and my fascination with swords, but I'd probably bore you all to tears.

No, this made me think...why are we modern folk so fascinated with the Middle Ages? Or the Renaissance, or Elizabethan times (think Shakespeare). We don't see people reenacting the Industrial Revolution, or the genesis of the computer. Generally speaking, the most "modern" reenactments we see are those from World War II. No Cold War, no Vietnam War, no Korean War. Why are we so fascinated with the past?

We get taught history so that we can see what men before us have done and not mess up like they did. (I mean, Hitler? Really? Didn't you pay attention to what happened to Germany in World War I? And Saddam Hussein, didn't you pay attention to what happened to Hitler? Really, gentlemen...let's use our brains here...) Anyway, when we do our Renaissance fairs and Ye Olde English Faires, we're not reenacting some famous battle. We're visiting a slice of history from a time when chivalry was actually popular, when life was simpler and men gallant. We're taking a peek at a society that passed one thousand years ago.

Their life wasn't easy. Most people were serfs, the feudal equivalent of slaves. They toiled and worked themselves to the bone, and gave most of the fruits of their labor to their overlord, who was probably a vassal for someone else. They didn't have medicine, so simple little diseases were much more deadly. And can you imagine childbirth? They didn't have running water, or indoor bathrooms. They couldn't go to the grocery store and buy flour to make bread; they had to grow, harvest, thresh, and mill the wheat before they could even think about making bread. They didn't have electricity or internet. They got up with the sun and went to bed with it.

But we don't see this when we go to our fairs. We see the idyllic, the pretty, the romantic. We see the good aspects without having to look at the other parts. Life expectancy was low. Women were married when they were 12, 13, and 14. Most of them died in childbirth. Children weren't expected to live to adulthood.

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with our Renaissance fairs, or the Olde English Faires. Heck, I'm going to do my best to get to the faire this weekend. What I'm saying is that we should look at these fairs, and what they do present - a simple, honest life of chivalry and respect - and apply them to our crazy, over-busy lives. We have the advantages of electricity, running water and advanced forms of communication, but we can  look at their simpler lives and take a break from our own crazy lives.

 -enna

changes should come?

Hey all, this is something I've been considering and would like your input on. I've been told by multiple people that the web address of the blog is kinda long and unwieldy. However, this would be the third web address change the blog has undergone in its four years. Is this where it should stop? Or should I change it one last time?

Keeping this in mind, while I'm making major changes, I'm also debating changing the name of the blog. I don't have any real candidates in mind yet. But I don't think that "the good and the bad" is really an apt title for what happens here anymore. This blog used to be a diary of sorts where I talked and vented about what was going on in my life. Now, it's become an entirely different animal. I don't post much about my personal life - except when it interferes with my posting. I write reviews of books, movies, songs. I analyze and over-analyze things that most  people don't really stop to think about. I write thoughts that pop into my head.

Which, while it may be more interesting to you, doesn't really fit the name "the good and the bad". Something like "A Wanderer of Life: Thoughts of a walker on the path of life" is closer to what the blog is becoming.

So please, give me your input. This affects you, the readers, the most. Vote in the poll on the left, and also in the comments. I will count both when I tally the points. You could also offer suggestions for both web address and title in the comments.

-enna

nameless story

I was going through my story archives the other day, and found this little thing. I wrote it when I was 14 or 15 for kids in kindergarten through second grade, or thereabouts age-wise for a read-aloud. It made me laugh that I wrote something this silly, and I thought that you, my faithful readers, would appreciate some of the silliness of a 14 year old writing this fairy tale for young kids. Maybe you need a laugh, but I hope you enjoy!

Oh, and it's nameless because I could never come up with a name for it. If you think of a title, feel free to post it for me in the comments!

-enna

Once upon a time, there was a castle with many people visiting. There were dukes and barons and princes and lords, and they all wanted to marry Princess Anne of Dazzlemetodeath. I am pretty ordinary, so I don’t know why they all wanted to marry me. Yes, I am Anne of Dazzlemetodeath. I was 19 at the time of this story, and I can remember as if it was yesterday...

I wasn't the slightest bit interested in the valor and honor and bravery of my suitors. I wanted to know if they had compassion, mercy, kindness, and the respect of the peasants. So I came up with a plan. I normally would eat my luncheon by myself, so it wouldn't be hard to fool them.
I borrowed the outfit of one of the kitchen maids, and became a waitress for the suitors. Duke Malus, Baron Wantmore, Prince Nuthouse, and Lord Lookatme were the only ones left. The rest I had already turned down. However, there was one person at the table that day who did not have a title. A man had come to the doors, asking if he could see me. The servants had told him that he could see me after lunch, and would he please eat with the other suitors. I would see him with the others when I rejected the ones I was displeased with. He said that was fine, and his name was Jesse.
When I came in, bearing the pheasant that was lunch, Duke Malus started laughing at Jesse, who was gaping at the bird I was carving. “Country boy, shut your mouth. If the Princess Anne hears of your awful table manners, then you will be booted out of this castle.”
Baron Wantmore sneered in my face when I only gave him one slice of meat. He snarled in my face, “I may be eating a bird, but I do NOT have a bird’s stomach. Give me AT LEAST one more piece, and it had better be thicker than this one.”
Prince Nuthouse laughed in my face, and then took his plate and shoved it in my face! Then he took spoonfuls of the mashed potatoes and flung them at me.
Lord Lookatme made him stop, but then was ungrateful when I only said thank you once. “Girl, you ought to be thanking me more than that! I just saved you from a nut case!”
Jesse, finishing his food quietly, asked me politely, “Please, may I have some more of the potatoes and roast pheasant?” I gave him what he had asked for willingly, and when I came over with his refilled plate, he said thank you and gave me his napkin to clean my face with.
If it had been one of my older sisters, they would have taken one of the titled men, even though they were horrible. I didn't even have to think about who was going and who was staying. I left and changed back into my clothes after I got all the mashed potato off, then had the five men come in. The servant introduced Jesse, and I managed to act like I had never met him before.
I looked at Duke Malus first. “Duke Malus, I regret to say it, but you need to return home. I thank you for the pleasurable time we had together.”
Baron Wantmore was next to go. “I thank you for your time and courtesies, Baron Wantmore, but I think you will be happier if you return to your own castle.”
Before I told Prince Nuthouse to leave, I had the guards come in and restrain him. “Nuthouse, my friend, you could do much more for your country if you were home.”
I was glad for the guards, because the prince lunged out of anger and tried to get at me. The guards dragged him out, and I was left with Lord Lookatme and Jesse. “Lord Lookatme, I hate to say this, but your children are ill and you must return home to them.” I had found out that he was a widower at the luncheon, and a messenger had come and said they were ill, so I had a wonderful excuse! He simply turned purple from rage and left.
Jesse was the only one left. “Jesse, at the luncheon, you were the only one that showed compassion and kindness to me. I…”
“Princess, how do you know I showed compassion or anything at the lunch? You weren't even there. I showed compassion to a kitchen maid. I've never even met you before!”
“Oh, but you have, Jesse. You see, I was that kitchen maid. I was trying to find out what my suitors were really like. You can imagine that they would be on their best behavior when I was around.”
Jesse looked kind of shocked, so I showed him the napkin he had given me to clean myself up with. “Jesse, a young man with every element a king should have gave this to me while I was serving the suitors who were trying to win my hand. That same man managed to keep his poise amongst some of the meanest people I have ever laid eyes on.”
I smiled, and Jesse smiled back. I figured he knew who I was talking about, so I asked him why he had wanted to see me. He turned bright red and mumbled, “To ask for your hand, but I supposed you would laugh in my face. Would you marry me?”
“One thing first, Jesse.” He looked surprised. “Do you want your napkin back?”
We laughed, and left the room to find my father comparing words that would describe Duke Malus, Baron Wantmore, Prince Nuthouse, and Lord Lookatme.

So, now I have two beautiful daughters who know what to look for in a man (NOT the title), a wonderful husband, and Dazzlemetodeath is in good hands. I suppose you could say that we lived happily ever after. (Happier, anyway, than the other suitors did.)

confessions

By the way, this post isn't safe for little eyes. If you don't want to have to explain some things to kids, don't let them read it. But I felt that I needed to post this.

Well, it's only really one confession, but there's lots of little things that tie into it. So let's go way back to last summer, about one week before I left for Catholic Heart Work Camp...

Anyone eighteen or over had to go through Protecting God's Children, which is a course to make adults in charge of children or working with children aware of the warning signs and dangers of child sexual abuse. So I got to go through this wonderfully fun course as well. Fortunately, what was supposed to be a 4-6 hour training was only 2.5 or 3 hours long...only two of us were taking the course because I needed before leaving for CHWC the next week.

Before I keep going with my story, I'd like to share some stats with you. Approximately one in six women are victims of some kind of sexual assault at some point in their lives. Fifteen percent of these victims are under the age of 12. As for the people who perform the crime, 60% are never reported to the police, and fifteen out of sixteen never spend a day in jail. And two thirds of them were known by their victims.

Some pretty bleak statistics there. Gotta love being reduced to a statistic.

Because I'm one of the fifteen percent. And one of the the one in six. And my abuser one of the fifteen.

So, how does it feel to be in that statistic? Quite frankly, it feels dirty. Something that the website doesn't mention, but that the Protecting God's Children workshop and my own experience shows, is that we take the blame on ourselves. It wasn't his fault; it was my fault. I did something to provoke it. Granted, I was only three, but I still must have done something to deserve it.

So the bad stuff that happens just feels like it's what I deserve. It feels shameful. I didn't tell anyone until CHWC. No one knew. I don't know why I didn't tell my parents soon after it happened; I don't remember a lot of the details. I tend to suppress unhappy memories - I literally have been told that I was bullied by my teacher in grade school and I cannot remember it. I can't remember most of second grade, even though first grade and even kindergarten and a lot of preschool are pretty clear in my memory. Even after the workshop brought the memories to the surface, they've been marred by the scars of time...they were buried for over fifteen years. And I don't really want to remember everything. I'd like to forget what I can remember.

According to RAINN (Rape And Incest National Network), lots of bad things come as results of sexual assault. Other than some strange fears and occasional depression, I missed out on a lot of it. Thank heavens. I was lucky. Sorta.

I still fight a prevailing lack of self-worth. I have a very hard time believing that I'm worth anything. Sometimes I feel that I'm more worthless than a plain little pebble, one of millions on a sea shore. Sometimes it's almost debilitating. How can I, a woman who had that happen to her, ever be worth loving? I'm broken, I'm useless.

You can't see it to look at me. I look happy, confident. But sometimes I'm cowering inside, wondering why on earth there's so much fuss about something as worthless as I am.

But then I fight out of it. I have life, and family and friends who love me, and so many things that make life worth living. Even if I don't deserve their love all the time, they're there for me every step of the way. Love saves me, every time. As it saved my soul.

-enna