star of the show

One year, in the week preceding Christmas, a school was getting ready to do its Christmas pageant. One little girl came home from school extremely excited the day they received their parts.

"Mommy! Daddy! I got the most important part in the pageant!"

"What was it, Mary?"

But she wouldn't tell them, just talked on and on about how important her part was. She was so excited that she bounced rather than walked for the entire week preceding the pageant. Her parents chuckled, but didn't curtail her excitement.

Finally the night of the pageant arrived. Mary's parents sat in the audience while the older grades performed their songs and skits. Finally, it was time for the kindergarten class to perform their part.

The teacher walked up to a podium at the side of the stage. A little boy and girl walked on the stage and stood in the center, while next to the teacher children pretending to be shepherds and sheep arranged themselves. When all of the children were situated, the teacher began to tell the story of Christmas.

First, she spoke of the journey to Bethlehem from Nazareth. While she spoke, the children playing Joseph and Mary walked to a little stable that had been constructed from cardboard. When the time came for Mary to have the baby Jesus, a baby doll was produced and laid in a manger - also fashioned with cardboard and filled with construction paper "hay". Then the teacher spoke of the star that rose over the stable.

Little Mary walked onto the stage, holding a big silver star. She stood behind the manger, holding the star so that it would mark the place where Jesus lay.

The teacher then spoke of the angels that appeared to the shepherds, and how the shepherds found the stable. Little Mary walked over and led them to the baby Jesus with the star. When the time came for the Magi to journey to the baby as well, Mary went over and led them to the baby as well. Once the Magi had given their gifts to the baby, all of the children from the program came and gave their final bows.

On the way home, Mary's mother turned around in the car and said, "You were right, Mary. You were quite literally the 'star' of the show with that big sparkling star."

Mary said in a very matter-of-fact tone, "That's not why I was the most important part."

"Then why was your part the most important?" her dad queried, looking at her with the rearview mirror.

Smiling broadly, she responded, "I was the one who led everyone else to Jesus!"

Oh, the innocence of children. May we lead others to Christ this Christmas season. Merry Christmas!

-enna

what if?

What if the Nativity, instead of being in about the year 3 B.C, had been in 2010? Watch this video to see what it might have been like...





-enna

'tis the season...

...to use "tis"! Most of the rest of the year, the use of this word merits you only strange looks from people, but during this particular time of year, 'TIS found acceptable for common use.

Granted, as far as most people are concerned, the Christmas season started the day after Thanksgiving. (Personally, though, I think that having Christmas decorations out in July is a bit much.) But my question is this: do we celebrate our birthdays for a month, and then quit celebrating right after? Maybe my family is just old-fashioned, but we don't celebrate Thanksgiving...until Thanksgiving. We don't celebrate birthdays...until the birthday itself. And we don't start celebrating Christmas until December 25.

Oh sure, we decorate. We went and got our Christmas tree on Saturday. We prepare food and presents for Christmas - but we don't celebrate Christmas until Christmas Day. Call me old-fashioned and outdated, but to me, that seems right.

Christmas celebrates the single most influential event in the entire course of history. Whether or not you acknowledge Jesus of Nazareth to be the Messiah promised to the Israelites, the only Son of God, the Alpha and the Omega, the Creator of our universe, whether you acknowledge this or not, you still have to admit that this Man's life was the single most influential event in history. Because of this single Man, a new religion was formed - and regardless of denomination, 33% of the world's population follows Christianity. This Man preached a doctrine unlike anything that anyone had ever heard before - even the Jews, His own people, were amazed and baffled by His teaching.

His teaching spread throughout the world. Nations rose and fell, fought and died over this one Man. Education spread, large and beautiful new buildings were built, and music was written - and the greatest architects, teachers, composers and musicians taught the glory of the God who came to earth.

The United States of America was founded on Christian principles and ideals. Even with her freedom of religion, this country still used Christian morals and ethics in her laws and justice.

Even if you don't recognize Jesus of Nazareth as the Son of God, He was still the most influential person on earth. His birth was the turning point of the world, and we celebrate it on Christmas Day.

Not in July.

-enna

unchanged

For those who don't know, a new rock band called Satus Lucis is working on their first album. As a first in this blog, I will let it be known that I am the lead singer and songwriter for this new band, and I wanted to share this new draft of a song called Unchanged with you today. It's not done, but I do like this particular draft, and it inspires a lot of questions.

Swirling around me
Blowing through me
Knock me over
Smack me down
Chaos it seems
Reigns supreme
Within and without
Take me out

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Just leave me alone
And let me be unchanged

Propelling me forward
Driving me ahead
Knock me over
Smack me down
Riding hurricanes
Toward a change
Within and without
Take me out

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Just leave me alone
And let me be unchanged

Just leave me alone…

Give me peace
Transitions
Have no serenity
Mundanity
Has tranquility

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Won’t leave me alone
And let me be unchanged

Furious change
Desperate change
Ripping through me
Tearing through me
Transformations
Alterations
Variations
Adaptations
Can’t leave me alone
So I’m not unchanged

 This song is decidedly different any other songs I've written, especially "Fear", which utilizes part of the poem I posted earlier this year (and will be released as a single later this week). I am not normally angry, and as such, do not typically write such an angst-ridden song. I almost always have a resolution that is pleasing to the reader and to me, as the writer. In a way, we think that if a story or song has a happy ending - or at least ends with some feeling of resolution - we have a chance at a final resolution in whatever we do. Preferably one that we like.

That is not always the case.

In this instance, we are looking at change. We all like some kind of change, yes? For those in high school, they eagerly await the completion of high school so that they can move on to college and living on their own. For college students, there's the change of supporting oneself and having a full time job after however many years of study. Real life. For parents, there's a major change after a child is born. Most of the time, these are desirable changes - things we all want.

But how do we get to change? There has to be a transition - a moving from one thing toward another. We don't instantly teleport from complete satisfaction in one thing to complete satisfaction in a new one. Transitions don't happen instantaneously. Transitions are rough. They beat you up. They make you question and think and wonder and fear and pray. Transitions are suffering and pain.

We don't like pain. Is there anyone in the readership that actually LIKES to go through pain? That LIKES to feel confused and scared because you don't know what will happen next? We may like change - but we don't like pain. And change involves transitions. Transitions are painful.

We sometimes feel that a change is just too much. For example, lots of people want to lose weight. So they diet and exercise. Eventually, many of them stop because they don't think they can go through the  difficult time of losing the weight. So they stop.

This song addresses the next question: are they truly unchanged?

No. Even if we don't complete the transition process, we do not come out of something exactly the same as when we entered. We can't. This transition, knocking and smacking, has taken time and energy. Even if we leave, you can never be the same after riding a hurricane as you were before. The driving force of a transition to a complete change is such that even if you don't finish, you don't walk away unchanged.

Life is change. Even if we don't want that change, it's still going to grab us by the ears and throw us around. We may leave, but it
Can't leave me alone
So I'm not unchanged

-enna

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey to everyone out there, I wish you a happy belated Thanksgiving! I apologize, but with the holiday-related festivities, I didn't manage to crank out a post for you. Two years ago, I wrote a list of little annoying things we should be thankful for. I am going to post this list again, as well as some additions.


>Be thankful when you have to park at the other end of the parking lot - the exercise is good for your health.
>Be thankful when your friends irritate you about your eating and sleeping habits - it means that they care about you.
>Be thankful when you can't see relatives very often - it makes time together even more precious.
>Be thankful when you have loads upon loads of laundry - it means that you are more fortunate than many people and have plenty of clothes. (Lots of people meaning most of the world, not people in the U.S.A.)
>Be thankful when there are lots of dishes to wash - you have plenty to eat.
>Be thankful when your siblings won't leave you alone - they will be your greatest allies in times of need.
>Be thankful when gas prices rise - you recognize the value of the local tourist activities.
>Be thankful when your little sister puts her knee in your pumpkin pie - it's not going to change the taste, just the appearance.
>Be thankful, even when your shape is not what you would like - in God's eyes, you are beautiful (or handsome).
>Be thankful for the recession - it is giving us a chance to reevaluate our spending habits and to change into wiser consumers.
>Be thankful when the government seems to not be doing what we want it to - it makes the average citizen care about what's going on in Washington, D.C., and therefore increases awareness of bills and laws being passed.
>Be thankful for Obama - even though most of us are not happy with his administration, he isn't a permanent leader. He makes us count our blessings.
>Be thankful when your alarm goes off - it means you get to experience another day.
>Be thankful when your computer crashes - you have access to technology that wasn't available even 60 years ago.
>Be thankful when Facebook is down - there are still other methods of communication!
>Be thankful when small children are singing the same songs off-key over and over - in God's ears, their voices make sweet music.
>Be thankful when some won't listen to advice - it gives you a chance to pray for them and with them.
>Be thankful when homework eats your free time away - it teaches you self-discipline, deadlines, and gives you valuable information as well.
>Be thankful when responsibilities seem to weigh you down - the more responsibility you have, the more opportunities you have to change the world.
>Be thankful when life knocks you down - you're in the perfect position to pray.
>Be thankful for the opportunity to walk on this path called life.


And now, a silly little something before I bid you adieu...
Spell Checker
(Author unknown)
Eye halve a spelling checker;
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marks four my revue,
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word,
And weight four it two say,
Weather eye am wrong oar write;
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,
It nose bee fore two long.
And eye can put the error rite;
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it;
I am shore your pleased two no,
Its letter perfect awl the weigh.
My spell checker tolled me sew!

-enna

ask a child: love edition

HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE?

“When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don’t get up for at least an hour.” -Wendy, age 8

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE

“One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too.” -Andrew, age 6

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” -Mae, age 7

“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be painful.” -Manuel, age 8

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE

“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” -John, age 9

“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” -Glenn, age 7

ON THE ROLE OF BEAUTY AND HANDSOMENESS IN LOVE

“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” -Anita C., age 8

“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” -Brian, age 7

“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are lasts a long time.” -Christina, age 9

REFLECTIONS ON THE NATURE OF LOVE

“Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too.” -Greg, age 8

HOW DO PEOPLE IN LOVE TYPICALLY BEHAVE?

“Mooshy...like puppy dogs...except puppy dogs don’t wag their tails nearly as much.” -Arnold, age 10

“All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark.” -Sherm, age 8

CONCERNING WHY LOVERS HOLD HANDS

“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.” -Gavin, age 8

“They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing.” -John, age 9

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE

“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘Dinosaurs’ is on television.” -Jill, age 6

“Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime.” -Floyd, age 9

“Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place...we were behind a tree.” -Casey, age 7 (it should be noted that he means where they were standing, not whatever perverted thing it could be construed to mean)

“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” -Dave, age 8

“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” -Regina, age 10

PERSONAL QUALITIES YOU NEED TO HAVE IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD LOVER

“Sensitivity don’t hurt.” -Robbie, age 8

“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” -Ava, age 8

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” -Del, age 6

“Shake your hips and hope for the best.” -Camille, age 9

“Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs...and don’t worry if their parents are right there.” -Manuel, age 8

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” -Alonzo, age 9

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” -Bart, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” -Bobby, age 9

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people will care more about food.” -Bart, age 9

“Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up.” -Sarah


Ah, for the innocence of childhood. While many of these are laugh-out-loud funny, some of these children seem to have a better grasp on what makes a relationship work than many adults today. While many of them mentioned superficial things (in their own unique way), some of the children picked up on some things that make relationships work. Not just romantic relationships, either. For example, our little friend Robbie mentioned said, "Sensitivity don't hurt." While his grammar is questionable at best, his point is valid. If we ignore other people's feelings, our relationship isn't going to be very strong.

More thoughts on love at a later date. In the meantime, laugh at our young naive little friends. :) I'm also going to put together a survey for children 3-12 soon, and post the results at a later date. Kids are so cute when they're trying to analyze adulthood. ^_^

-enna

welcome to the masquerade

We've got the fire, who's got the matches?
Take a look around at the sea of masks
Come one, come all, welcome to the grand ball
Where the strong run for cover and the weak stand tall

I'm not one to scare the masses
But there's somethings that melt the plastic
Try and dig down deeper if you can

I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed
I'm not to blame, welcome to the masquerade
I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid
I'm not okay, welcome to the masquerade
Welcome to the masquerade

We've got the power, who's got the action?
Break it down 'til there's nothing but a mere fraction
Out of the fire, rise from the ashes
Reject your doubt and release the passion

Let's get on it, believe if you want it
Step into the realm where the real ones flaunt it
Come back, rewind, another time on it
Reach out, take that but now step on it

I'm not one to scare the masses
But there's somethings that melt the plastic
Try and dig down deeper if you can

I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed
I'm not to blame, welcome to the masquerade
I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid
I'm not okay, welcome to the masquerade
Welcome to the masquerade

I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed
I'm not to blame, welcome to the masquerade
I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid
I'm not okay, welcome to the masquerade

I'm not one to scare the masses
But there's somethings that melt the plastic
Try and dig down deeper if you can

I'm not afraid, I'm not ashamed
I'm not to blame, welcome to the masquerade
I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid
I'm not okay, welcome to the masquerade
Welcome to the masquerade

This is a song by Thousand Foot Krutch. (To save myself time, I will call them TFK for the remainder of the post - and history.) This is off of the album Welcome to the Masquerade. As I said in another post, this album is a phenomenal piece of work. It came out in September of 2009 and happens to be one of my favorite albums of all time.

Regardless of my personal bias for this album, this song in particular addresses something that I've come to realize about society nowadays.

We all wear masks.

We're all scared to let anyone see who we truly are, or how we truly feel. Whether we don't want to bore anyone with what we really think or if we're scared that who we are just isn't good enough, we find a mask to hide behind. Stereotypes galore exist - preppy, cheerleader, jock, slut, nerd, geek, gamer...the list goes on.

Here's a question for you: what is the most predictable answer to a question in the U.S.? I'll give you a hint: the question is, "How are you?"

You may laugh, but 99% of the time, you're one of the one's saying, "I'm fine," or "I'm doing ok," or "I'm good," or...you get the idea. We all say we're fine to anyone who asks, regardless of what we truly feel inside. I know I'm bad at this...and by "bad" I mean "I always answer with 'fine' or 'ok'". Even when "fine" is about as far away as the moon.

I do not think that this observation is going to change society. We will still say we're fine when we're not. But maybe, when it's someone that we know truly cares about us, we will stop hiding behind our masks and admit that we're not OK.

And we'll find that they still love us anyway.





(This is actually the official video for the song - not a fan-made copyright-infringing video.)

-enna

salute

Before us they stand
Always before us

Before us they stand
Facing outwards

Before us they stand
Between their country and danger

Before us they stand
Ready to defend us

Before us they stand
A reminder that our freedom isn't free

Before us they stand
Sacrificing their families

Before us they stand
Sacrificing their dreams

Before us they stand
Sacrificing their innocence

Before us they stand
Sacrificing civilian life

Before us they stand
Scared but going anyway

Before us they stand
Sacrificing limbs

Before us they stand
Sacrificing health

Before us they stand
Sacrificing sound bodies

Before us they stand
Spilling blood

Before us they stand
Giving their very lives

For us

Before us they stand
A reminder that our freedom is not free

Have you thanked a veteran today?

-enna

"This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." -John 15:12-13

NaNoWriMo

No, I am NOT just throwing random letters and sounds together. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. And I have decided to take part this year! 

What's my novel? Good question. It doesn't have a title yet. BUT I will tell you it is a Zephanaian story. We're looking at about 700 years after the events in The Battle of Zephanaia. It's fun - I'm taking the characters to totally different geographical places within the world. We'll get to see ocean, mountains, a small isolated nation called Bielnun - it will most definitely be an interesting adventure!

I'm currently at 1,919 words. It has to be at least 50,000 by November 30. Here's to hoping I can do it...

-enna

RIP

I just found out that Marcus Berquist passed away. I wanted to let everyone know, and thank you for your prayers.

May he rest in peace.

-enna

a civic duty

Today - November 2, 2010 - is Election Day. For me, this was the first time voting. Granted, I technically could have voted in the primary, but I didn't get registered in time. Oops. Anyway, I have first-time voter observations.

First off, my little hometown is an annoying enigma. It's half a mile south of the county border. So if we wanted to vote somewhere besides in our hometown, we'd have to go south at least ten-fifteen minutes. BUT we can't do that, either. Why? Our state and federal district line lies DIRECTLY BETWEEN our community and the closest community. So the ONLY place we can vote is in our hometown.

I have to leave at 6:30 AM for school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

So...we were at the polling place by about 6:05 AM. My alarm went off at 5:00. I was about ready to throw my alarm clock (read: phone) across the room.

Granted, for me, that annoyance is simply based on where I live, the fact that my school is an hour and a half away from home, and that I have an 8:30 class and won't be home until after the polling place closes. (Well, Thursday is after it closes...I will explain this some other time. Let me just say that I spend at least one night a week in a veterinary clinic on an air mattress in an exam room, where the decor is a picture of hookworms, heartworms, whipworms, and tubeworms, as well as models of hips with and without hip dysplasia, an arthritic knee, and a cat's ear [all plastic].)

Anyway, another observation I had was on the number of races that I'd never even heard of, let alone known that I was supposed to be voting on them. Many of them also only had one candidate. For me, this was very surprising. Granted, I had known that there would be a couple of referendums on my ballot - for example, the Illinois amendment to the Constitution that voters can choose to remove a currently installed governor and hold a special election to replace him. Personally, I feel that more could have been done - at current, it has to be approved by members of either the House or Senate (I'm blanking on which) - but I do think it's better than nothing. Blagojevich was horrible.

That would be my discourse on voting for the first time. And it was a cold walk. And dark. The stars were still out in force.

Since I'm in a patriotic mood, I'll end with a quote from Alexis de Tocqueville.

"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great."   -1835

-enna, granddaughter of two U.S. Veterans - one Air Force, one Army

Gotta Be Somebody

I'm gonna do another song this week - it's been a couple weeks since I decided to analyze a song. Another Nickelback song, Gotta Be Somebody, to be precise.

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holdin' my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with


Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me like that.
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.


Tonight, out on the street out in the moonlight
And ****it this feels too right
It's just like déjà vu
Me standin' here with you
So I'll be holdin' my own breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?


Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me like that.
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.


You can't give up!
Lookin' for that diamond in the rough
You never know but when it shows up
Make sure you're holdin' on
Cause it could be the one
The one you're waiting on


Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

How many of us actually WANT to live a lonely existence, without friends, love, or support? Human beings are social creatures. Even the most introverted person has some friends and family that they spend time with. This song illustrates one of the deepest desires of the human heart - to be loved.

We all want someone to be there for us, no matter what happens. Someone to share our hopes, dreams, and fears with. Someone to love us, even at our worst. Someone to hold us and tell us that they love us, even when we're at our most unloveable. Someone to love us even when we can't love ourselves.

None of us is perfect. We all have failed. But we can continue to love.

The best example of this love?

"This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." -John 15:12-13


Embedding was disabled on the video for this song, but you can still find it by going to this link.


-enna

a spiritual bouquet

*NOTE* In this post, I will be using the real names of a school and person.

For those who are unaware, the homeschooling movement is sweeping the nation. Approximately 1.5 million kids were homeschooled in 2007, and this number has continued to grow. Many, though not all, homeschool for religious reasons. Many books and curricula are available for the homeschooling mother, as well as accredited schools that their children can receive diplomas from.

One such school is Mother of Divine Grace Academy, MODG for short. Based in Ojai, California, the school was founded by Laura Berquist in 1995 for Catholic homeschooling mothers. Currently, over 3,500 students are enrolled, from multiple countries and most, if not all 50 states.

For those who did not know, I graduated from this school. I know Mrs. Berquist well, as well as several of her children. And because of this, I have a plea to make for the Berquist family.

Laura's husband, Marcus, has been struggling with a severe illness for about the last six months. He had to return to the hospital about a week ago, and received a verdict - he has a fungal lung infection and days, maybe weeks, if he's lucky months, left to live. The whole family, which is involved in the running of MODG, is working extremely hard to continue business as normal.

I would like to offer them as many prayers as I can, both for his healing, a peaceful death, and strength for the family. In the Catholic Church, when these prayers are bundled together like I'm trying to do, we call it a spiritual bouquet. See, each prayer or sacrifice is like a spiritual flower, and a bunch of flowers is a bouquet.

If you would like to contribute to this bouquet, please comment and tell what you're doing - if you're fasting, giving a donation to a charity in their honor, saying an Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Rosary, Chaplet of Divine Mercy, just an intercessory prayer...just state what you are going to do for the family.

I truly hope that you'll prayerfully consider helping the Berquist family with your prayers. May God bless you.

-enna

four letter words

How often do you hear people swearing? Maybe I'm overly sensitive, since I'm not fond of cussing, but it seems that this form of language is very common. I hear it in the hallways, in the cafeteria, at work, in the lounge...it's everywhere. Even in writing. I can't help but notice something that all of these words have in common.

They are almost all four letters with the exception of the alternate word for donkey, more frequently used to refer to the buttocks.

Isn't that odd? Who was it that said 99% of swear words should be four letters long? And who was it who decided that these words - that have perfectly acceptable definitions - should become dirty words? I'm not saying that I'd USE these words, but I'm pointing out a discrepancy within the point. Why are some things "bad"? Couldn't we start saying "from" is a swear word?

And if you are constantly defaulting to using these four letter words as adjectives, how much are you missing in terms of vocabulary? Why can't you just state "no" emphatically? Or say "I had a really good time" rather than "I had a **** of a good time" or "I had a **** good time"? Our English language (though it's very strange) is full of different words to describe fully what we are thinking - instead of saying "really good", you could say phenomenal, stupendous, invigorating, enlightening, enjoyable, amazing...the list goes on. Those words don't have to be the only adjectives in your vocabulary - most of them aren't adjectives at all, but rather verbs or nouns.

Even in context, I choose not to use these four letter words. I do not wish to be misunderstood, and I know I can express myself sufficiently without resorting to crude words of less than two syllables.

I do, however, choose to use one four letter word quite frequently. What is it?

And so faith, hope, and love remain, these three, but the greatest of these is love.  -1 Corinthians 13:13 


-enna

upon the humdrum

This won't be wildly philosophical or anything. I'm sorry. I just wished to comment on a bit of life. It's been a while since I've said anything whatsoever about what insane things I've been doing recently.

I did lose my mind when I signed up for the fall semester. I am currently taking 6 classes, 17 credits. (OK, I did finish my speech class already, so I'm down to five classes and 14 credits, but hey...I still lost my mind.) The crazier part? I'm planning on taking another 6 classes and 17 credits NEXT semester. (Only four days a week instead of five though...yay!) I also figured out that if I want to keep doing this insanity thing, doing at least 17 credits a semester, add that to the 14 credits I started with, and add in the three CLEP tests I plan on taking (freshman english, psychology, and sociology), I can graduate - with a full bachelor's degree - in three years. THREE YEARS. Then I'll be DONE with school FOREVER AND EVER!!! (At least, going to school myself.)

I do love my classes, though. I'm also tutoring in math. I THOUGHT I was done with that evil subject (taking it, I mean), but obviously God has a great sense of irony. Ha ha. Between tutoring, classes, and homework, can you guess what I do most of the week? I do love my internship at the radio station, though. I get paid in candy and edibles! :D I'll be glad, though, when my braces come off and I can EAT more of the stuff I get paid in. :P ;)

My weekends are normally filled with chores, church, and seeing my boyfriend and other friends. Not necessarily in that order. My free-writing has kinda disappeared. I miss it...I may have to start writing soon.

That is the current life of this crazy college student. I promise another philosophical post in the near future to make up for the humdrum-ness of this post.

-enna

silent auction, live auction...abortion auction??

I do not hide my pro-life stance. I strongly believe that life is sacred and begins the moment the sperm breaks the edge of the egg's wall. I will not apologize for my stance.

I mentioned in a previous post that October is Respect Life month. You don't hear about this because of everything pink. Yep, breast-cancer awareness as well. We have a veritable EPIDEMIC of it today, whereas it wasn't very common 60 years ago. That, however, shall be the subject of another post.

As a member of the Live Action movement, I receive updates on Facebook and emails from the organization. Just yesterday, I received a link to a story that shocked me - NARAL in Washington held its 30th Annual Liberty Ball & Masquerade. Ok, so even if I strongly wish that this organization didn't exist, I can't complain because they simply held an annual event, right? WRONG!

Jill Stanek, a prominent pro-life blogger, provides the link provided by NARAL to a blog that offered a shout-out about the event. In the post, the first paragraph states that NARAL auctioned off a first-trimester abortion. The Afternoon Jolt (blog) calls it "audacious", and praises the move. The Morning Fizz, not to be outdone, expounded on the topic, saying, "one prize stayed true the politics at hand: 'Fund a first-trimester abortion at Aurora Medical Services for a woman in need.'" They further say that they offered a vasectomy in the auction. (I will address my issues with all forms of contraception in a later post.)

It makes me sick.

May God have mercy on our country.

-enna

Long-overdue

I know this post is far overdue. The Battle of Zephanaia was published in August of 2009. You can get it at my Lulu storefront or from Amazon - just search The Battle of Zephanaia. The paperback version is available on both websites, as is an eBook version - especially for Kindle on Amazon - and you can get a hardcover at the lulu website. I am currently in the process of working on Draila's Return, which is the sequel to The Battle of Zephanaia. I can unfortunately not give an approximate date yet for its release, but I will say it will hopefully be out before we reach 2020. I know this is not much consolation for you Zephanaia fans out there, but it is the best I can do. I'm not like some of those authors who can thrash out a 400-500 page book in three to four months. It takes me a tad bit longer than that. I can say with confidence that Draila's Return will be the last book starring Fredrich, Ilena, Prasworth, and Nenia for a while. I know many of my readers would love to hear more about these characters, but after this, the focus will go forwards and backwards to different points in time - some about former rulers of Zephanaia, others about later generations. Someday I may even get around to writing the story of Riathamus, Helath, and everything else that happened at the beginning of time. I'm not sure yet, but you can be sure I will try to keep you updated.

the diary of an unborn child

This little story can almost make me cry. (I'm not a crier.) I'm posting it in honor of Pro Life month.

May God have mercy on this country.

Diary of an unborn child:
September 19:
Today my life began. My parents do not know it yet, but it is I already. And I am to be a girl. I shall have brown hair and eyes. Just about everything is settled, even the fact that I shall love flowers.

October 3:
Some say that I am not a real person yet, that only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just as a small crumb of bread is yet truly bread. My mother is. And I am.

October 7:
My mouth is just beginning to open now. Just think, in a year or so I shall be laughing and later talking. I know what my first word will be: MAMA.

October 9:
My heart began to beat today all by itself. From now on it shall gently beat for the rest of my life without ever stopping to rest! And after many years it will tire. It will stop, and then I shall die.

October 17:
I am growing a bit every day. My arms and legs are beginning to take shape. But I have to wait a long time yet before those little legs will raise me to my mother's arms, before those little arms will be able to gather flowers and embrace my father.

October 27:
Tiny fingers are beginning to form on my hands. Funny how small they are! I'll be able to stroke my mother's hair with them.

November 4:
It wasn't until today that the doctor told mom that I am living here under her heart. Oh, how happy she must be! Are you happy, mom?

November 9:
My mom and dad are probably thinking about a name for me. But they don't even know that I am a little girl. I want to be called Marianne. I am getting so big already.

November 24:
My hair is growing. It is smooth and bright and shiny. I wonder what kind of hair mom has?

November 27:
I am just about able to see. It is dark around me. When mom brings me into the world it will be full of sunshine and flowers. But what I want more than anything is to see my mom. Mom, what do you look like?

December 8:
I wonder if mom hears the whispering of my heart? Some children come into the world a little sick. But my heart is strong and healthy. It beats so evenly: thup-thup, thup-thup. You'll have a healthy little daughter, mom!

December 12:
Today? Today my mother killed me.

-enna

If Everyone Cared

I'm going to start on my search for meaning in song lyrics. I'll start with If Everyone Cared by Nickelback. Before I get started, here's the lyrics:

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight


Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive


If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died


And I'm singing


Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive


And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along


Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
(I'm alive)

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be


If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...


We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

So, my thoughts? Well, I really like the way they did the music video too, for one thing. I've posted it below the post, so you can watch it when I'm done musing. But they intersperse your typical music-video-shots of the band with video, words, and pictures of different lesser-known civil activists. It works really well, I personally just wish that there wasn't so much dead space at the end of the video. But mebbe that's just me being picky.

Anyway, I'm especially gonna focus on the refrain. If everyone cared, and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied, if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, would we see the day when nobody died? Ladies and gents, welcome to the Garden of Eden. If this were to truly be within our world, Christ's message would have truly become the byword of the world.

But is this even possible? Can we attain this kind of perfection?

But in the end the fireflies are only light in Paradise. Nope, those aren't the actual lyrics, but it's what I'd first thought they were when I listened. There is still truth within those words, though. Remember chasing fireflies as a kid? I know I did. It was one of my favorite things to do. Even now, on summer nights when I get home from work or spending time at a friend's house or Phinwe's, I look at the yard and will sit for a bit, just watching the fireflies. It looks like someone dumped a huge thing of gold glitter on the grass. They don't have much light. But in Paradise (another term for Heaven), the light from those little fireflies would be enough to do anything - read, dance, walk...those little bugs would be enough. But here, in our imperfect world, we cannot necessarily light up great halls and get our names into history books like Martin Luther King Jr.

So what's the point?

We should be like fireflies.

We should light up our little corner of the world. Every one of us has a light to shine, no matter how large or small it is. If we put a basket over it or try to dim it, the only ones we're hurting are ourselves.

And as we lie beneath the stars, we realize how small we are; if they could love like you and me, imagine what our world could be.

We're not very big. In the grand scheme of things, we're a little dot running amongst other little dots. But we can make a difference. If we consciously love whom we meet, we might see the world

Where everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day...

When nobody died. 

"His lord said to him: 'Well done, good and faithful servant...enter thou into the joy of thy lord.'" Mt 25:23 (Douay-Rheims)








-enna

upcoming!

This is not really a "post" post, simply a preview of upcoming topics. I need to write them down before I forget, so why not write them where everyone can read them? I may also do some other topics, but I know for sure I'll do these.

Basically, what I'm looking at doing is starting to look at lyrics of songs and philosophizing about them, and the relevance. I'm currently contemplating Never Be Alone, Gotta Be Somebody, and If Everyone Cared by Nickelback, as well as Welcome to the Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch (shortened to TFK by 99% of the music industry), Broken by 12 Stones, State of Mind by 11th Parallel, Life Starts Now by Three Days Grace...I'll probably eventually do every song in my playlist, but those are definitely in the cue of posts for you. :) I will also attempt to find a music video for each of these to go with the post so that you can also hear and listen to the music.

Oh, and also expect a discourse on life soon. I'm going to a pro-life rally tomorrow afternoon, and October is pro-life month. Didn't know that? Well, now you do. ;) I'll try to do something about the pro-life cause and such during my October posts.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

-enna

(milk) duds and publications

I'm terribly sorry to all of those who desperately desire my take on such things as random philosophical topics, but I don't really have one to discuss this week. I've tried to think of one...really, I have! But all of my ideas have seemingly oozed out of my brain through my ears. Or maybe the day-long retreat in St. Louis I attended on Sunday has left me contemplative, without actually having something I wish to muse here. So, I'm sending out a desperate plea - please please please please post different topic ideas in the comments! Otherwise you may end up with a technical explanation like this one that you really didn't want...

Book publishing! I gave a speech on the process thereof recently, and I'd like to share how I publish my books with you. It's not something that's very common knowledge, so I shall regale you all with my stories of publication. ;)

First, I need subject matter. I addressed this in a previous post, particularly character creation, so I'm not going to go into that today. If you would like to read what I had on it, you can find it here. Then I have to edit it. This is typically a painful process during which I choose a random friend, beg them to read my story, and sit back and cringe until they give me their initial response. They really get into nitty-gritty of what's excessive, what needs to be more in-depth, what needs expanded, and what needs to be cut away. It's a painful process...painful but necessary, comparative to childbirth from what I've been told. (No, I don't know it from personal experience!) Anyway, once I think I have it edited enough (which takes quite a while - I'm picky even if I hate the process), I start working on formatting my pages. If I was going to use a traditional publishing house, I'd have to pitch the story at agents, hire one, then let that person start pitching it at different publishing houses. Granted, they'd take care of everything, but I do not have the money to try to hire an agent. So I plead insanity and do it on my own.

I publish my books through a company called lulu. This is a company that will put the book together for me, I just have to have all of the elements to put together. So I format my pages to the book size I want to use. I typically go for a 6"x9" or what they call the A5 size (5.833" x 8.264"). Sometimes I'll do a pocket book (4.25" x 6.875"). But I have to format the pages within my word processing program so that the words don't become so small that you cannot read them. Then I upload the documents to lulu, have it create the combined PDF files that it needs for the book, and start working on the cover. I have lotsa options available - I can upload my own covers, or I can choose to use some of the images and fonts that are automatically made available on lulu. After that, lulu assigns an ISBN number to my book, I click the little button that says "Publish", and the book is available for anyone to read!

You can find my available titles at stores.lulu.com/yavetil. I've been working on more that should hopefully be available soon.

And this is the life of a college student-turned-author...people wonder why I lost my mind...

-enna

What's inside YOUR head?

I don't know what's going through your head as you read this post. You probably don't know what's going through my head as I write it. Granted, some of what is inside my head will probably end up in the post, but a lot of other thoughts will probably clash around in my head. You will probably never know any of them. Poor readers.

But I think this is a good thing. We all need our little things that not everyone knows. Or at least I do. It's a certain amount of privacy. I don't need everyone on cyberspace to know every little detail of what's going through my head. My mood does sometimes affect what I write, and even my ability to write (or at least, write anything worth reading), but in general, you don't know anything about me except what I post here for you. You are at my mercy.

So how do you know that what I'm going to type is something worthwhile? How do you know that I'm a conservative Catholic, or a liberal Muslim? How do you know if I'm short, or tall, or blond, or brunette? The answer: you don't.

You don't know anything about me for sure. If you've physically met me, you do know things like physical attributes and a few of the quirks of my personality, but you don't know everything. You don't know what went through my head when Zinn died. You don't know what went through my head in January, or February, or even what is truly going through my mind right now. You have no way of ever knowing what I truly experience on a day-to-day basis, or what a certain circumstance will do to my mental state. Even if you're one of the people I trust most on this earth, I am still somewhat of an enigma. I can still surprise you with little things like birthday presents or a surprise visit when you're not expecting me to be there.

Some people have started to learn many things - how to tell when my mood is off, when I'm sad, when something's bugging me - but it's almost a lonely thought to realize that no one on this earth will ever fully understand everything I'm experiencing right at this moment.

Which is where God comes into the picture. When no one else is around, when I am in most desperate need of someone to listen, to understand, I can turn to my heavenly Father and He will meet my needs.

Praise God for His blessings.

-enna

P.S. What's inside YOUR head after reading this post? Please share a few of your thoughts in the comments!

new music group

So, I found this new rock music group floating around out there. Right now, they look kinda pitiful...no CD out, no record label, not much of anythin' except a name and a few songs. Looks to be a band of two. Their songs aren't even very easy to find. You can find their two current singles, "Fear" and "Destiny", on IMRadio. According to their facebook page, they're in the process of remixing those and creating a playlist for their first CD.

Just thought I'd throw this info out there. I'll keep my eye on them and let you know more.

-enna

an unfathomable mystery

Remember when you were little? You were always so excited about your birthday. Cake and presents, all for YOU!! You were the center of attention, the diva (or divo), the pièce de résistance. Everything was about YOU.

Then you started getting older. I don't know about you, but birthdays...don't seem like such a big deal anymore. Sure, the cake is nice, and the presents too, but I don't feel any different than I did the day before. The rest of the world doesn't even know unless I choose to tell them. I think it's a bit of a wake-up call as we get older. We start to realize that no, the world does NOT have to revolve around us for the day. Heck, your birthday isn't even unique - I share mine with Prince Harry of England, Heidi Montag, and William Taft - a former President of the United States. To name a few. That's just FAMOUS people. (And no, I did not know that on my own. I had to look it up.)

So enjoy your cake, enjoy the fellowship, but don't lose sight of what's really important in life. Because that cake may be good, but if you eat too much, you'll make yourself sick.

Today is also the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. I don't know too terribly much about it myself, but you can find more information by clicking here.

Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us.

-enna

bringing life

Meet Anna. She's almost 18 years old, preparing to leave school. She's ready for graduation, and gets along great with her classmates. Oh, and she's a princess of a make-believe country.

Did you ever have an imaginary friend? I still have one...actually, I have many. Lots of people roam around the inside of my head, interacting in new and strange ways. Welcome to the process of story creation.

Yep, my promised and long-awaited philosophical musings are going to be on story and character creation. I'm going to use Anna and her story for the purposes of this post, simply because it is her story I am currently working on. I've taken a sabbatical from The Zephanaian Chronicles right now, mainly because I've run into a Zephanaian road block. It's really annoying, but it means I can turn my focus onto other projects.

Something you have to understand if you ever want to write anything (beyond news - I'm talking creatively here) is that it cannot be forced. If you don't already have a poem or story or what-have-you rattling around in your head, don't try to write one! You'll only give yourself a headache. If you do manage to write something, it will be stilted and unnatural; it won't feel right to you OR your readers. You need to write something that matters to YOU. If it doesn't matter to you, it won't take on a life of its own.

Generally, a plot is highly suggested. I say this as a dramatic understatement. Before you EVER start writing, you need to have at least a very vague idea of where you want the story to go. I know a lot of writers outline heavily as they write. Great for them. I tried that a few times. It didn't work. As you create the characters, and if they come to life on the page, they will be beyond your control (like a literal child - only this is a brain child). This is good; it means they live on their own. It's not so good for outlining every little thing. You do need to have an idea of where the character will be at the beginning of the story and the end of the story.

Take Anna, for example. (By the way, that's my drawing there. I'm not the greatest artist in the world, particularly when it's from my imagination, so some of the perspectives and shading will be slightly off, but it's as close as I can get.) In the story The Frog's Challenge, she is initially a model student in an academy for princesses where they learn lots of princessy-type things. Personally, I'm glad I never had to do that, but my personality doesn't fit into that type of environment. In my initial creation of Anna's character, I made sure that, while she does have a very strong personality, she also can fit into any situation that she encounters. This is, I think, a true sign of nobility. If you can behave just as refined, poised, and confident in a swamp as you can in a palace, you could definitely do well in the medieval-type kingdom that this takes place in. (If you're curious, yes, she will have to deal with both environments.)

You have to take things like that into account when you initially are creating this character in your mind. If you don't, and if the character comes to life on the page, then he or she won't do what you want him/her to do. Not so good if you're trying to aim a story a certain direction. If you're doing a never-ending comic-type thing like Order of the Stick or Looking For Group (or even possibly MegaTokyo...not so sure on that one), then that's fine...you let the character evolve as it will.

Even in a somewhat-set storyline, though, your character needs to be allowed to evolve as becomes necessary. It's not something you necessarily plan for; it just happens. And you have to allow it to happen and possibly tweak a few things here or there to make it work. Allow the character to become a REAL person. (This is part of what I talk about in my post on manipulation - you want the character to become believable enough that the readers CARE about the character. If you say the word, it does sound like "care" is in the beginning of character.) I'm still in the beginning of Anna's story - I totally scrapped what I'd written initially and started over - so I still don't fully know the full evolution of her personality from beginning to end.

So you know a little bit about this project, The Frog's Challenge is going to be one of multiple short stories that will be published in a single volume. No title for it yet, but I'm working on it! The main premise behind this project is to take fairy tales (some popular, some lesser-known) and rewrite them a bit to make them a little more suspenseful and add character depth. Most of these will be based on the Grimm Brother's lesser known fairy tales, but I am going to be including a few of the more popular ones as well. I'm also going to rewrite The Dark Forest and put it in there, as well as The Journey. That will be removed from publication as its own novel on October 31, 2010. A few other fairy tales to receive a revamp will include Beauty and the Beast, The Twelve Dancing Princesses and The Frog Prince. Most of the others will be obscure Grimm titles. The concept came from Regina Doman's Fairy Tale Novels for teens. The difference is that I'm not going to try to turn each story into a novel; I'm simply letting it be a little short story. Depending on how long/short each one is, this project may become a multiple-volume project. We'll see. Right now, only two of the stories have even made it to the initial completion without editing.

That's it for now. :) I hope you all have a marvelous September (no, it's not over yet, and yes, I will post before then, but there's nothing wrong with me saying it anyway). :)

-enna

P.S. Please open the picture in a separate tab and view it at full size, then critique it! I want feedback on it. :) I know the scanned version isn't the best, but it's got the basic gist of what the drawing is.

Immanuel's Veins - an intoxicating read

On the book - Immanuel's Veins was released on September 7, 2010. It's the latest book by Ted Dekker. Visit the link to read what the official book description is. I have here my review. :)

WANTED: a friend

This isn't what I was planning on posting for my philosophical musings - that's coming, but I decided today that I'm going to post something else first.

I started college last Monday, and yes, I love my classes. It's the in-between or during the day that I don't like so much. I'm not very extroverted, so for me to start college has been very difficult. I still don't know very many people. I don't talk much. I pretty much keep to myself. It's not that I don't want to make some new friends; it's that I can't bring myself to make the first step. I don't trust easily, and I've been squashed so many times that I'm extremely reluctant to put myself out anymore.

Actually, I may know a lot of people, but I can count on one hand the number of people I'm close to outside of my immediate family. Actually, on two fingers. I don't open up easily. Which makes this harder than it seems.

It's times like this that truly remind me why we humans surround ourselves with people. We all have some kind of support system that we can trust to catch us if we fall. For some people, their support system is larger than others. It's almost like a web of interconnections. When we need it most, the web will hold us up and keep us from hitting the ground. If a strand is dropped, the others pick up the slack and won't let us fall.

Most of the time, we don't realize what we have until we lose it. For me, with my family and friends at least an hour away most of the time, it's made it very difficult for me during the day without that support system to fall back on. It's making me value what I have even more and helping me truly appreciate it when I am securely within my support system. And when I don't, the loss is all the more acute.

Hold onto your support systems; they keep us afloat.

-enna

teaser

This is just a warning...I will be posting a philosophical musing sometime in the near future. So keep your eyes open!

-enna

a blank page

A new school year has started - a fresh start. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. I'm not overtly fond of changes, and the beginning of this year brought a LOT of them. For one thing, I'm no longer taking any classes at home. That in and of itself is a huge change - I've always had at least three classes at home that I had to make sure were completed. Now I've got six teachers, none of whom know me, nor I them. I have totally different types of classes now (no more math - YAY!). So far, Spanish is fairly easy, concert choir is a BLAST, my first history assignment was a four question quiz about the materials, and I get to play with internet media for another. Which means yes, I will be doing my best to keep this updated - at least once a week. Stop your groaning - you can handle me posting more often. It won't kill you. Burn your eyes out, maybe... ;)

For the internet class (hereafter referred to as PMFW - Producing Media For the Web), we get to use macs. Now, I know that macs are revered as the best computer for media and whatnot, but I'm sorry, I'm still a PC person at heart. This thing is strange to a high degree. Hopefully I'll get used to it soon.

I know I haven't posted in a while, either, so I'll quickly summarize what's happened since I last posted - it's been over a month! I know, I'm a terrible blogger. Mea culpa. I'll try to do better. (Wait - that's my assignment. I HAVE to do better.) I'm done at the Y for the semester - I can't drive back and forth from school to work. It's almost a 2 hour drive! Sorry, I'm not doing that. I also went to see Inception with Phinwe (my boyfriend) the week after it came out. It's PHENOMENAL. Definitely something to see.

And, sadly, it doesn't look like the chili cookoff is going to be reality. BUT I am progressing forward with recording a CD. It's going to be similar to Evanescence in style (I can't do much else - my voice is too classical for true rock'n'roll). I've got a guitarist now too. I'm not going to be able to do much actual recording until Christmas break, but we can work on putting the songs together and getting them polished before locking ourselves in a recording studio for multiple hours to get it all in play-back-able format. Hopefully the CD will be out by next summer.

That's it for now!

-enna

rearview mirror

whee! it's been almost two weeks since i updated...yikes! i know that it's not quite as infrequent as i have been in the past, but i'm trying to be better about it...oh well.

last week was quite crazy for me. i worked monday, tuesday, and friday 9-noon and thursday 6 to noon, took e&t to see the tooth fairy for the free movie on wednesday movie (quite good, incidentally...very good guitar work on there), and i was in guitar camp in the afternoons 1-4. i ALSO did my stint at the radio station last monday 4:45-6, registered to vote, saw toy story 3 with my boyfriend (:D), went to church with his family wednesday night, crashed like a rock thursday night, played progressive rummy and watched monsters vs aliens friday night, went to grandma's saturday and sunday to visit with my aunt who's in the state from virginia, and managed to be totally exhausted by sunday night. whee! oh well...i haved a lot of fun last week :) guitar camp was AWESOME!!!

oh, and also, a week ago friday i went to teen game night and was a buffet line for bugs :P i was also a bit more than slightly tired and crazy...i started laughing at one point and couldn't stop. :P

anyway, i was at the station again today, and i ran the control board for most of the hour :)

and yesterday, at youth group, i sorta volunteered myself to play and sing at a church's chili cook-off. so tonight, i compiled a list of all the praise and worship or Christian songs that i know (for something like that anyway...not hymns), and the list currently totals 19 songs. if you average about 5 minutes per song, that's a 95 minute show! not counting water breaks and introducing/teaching songs and whatnot. oi....and that's if i decide not to throw in some of the stuff that i've written. it's crazy. i'm going to see if i can talk some of my friends into helping me out with this though. ;) it'll be a lot of fun though...i already know i've roped my little sister into helping me. :)

which reminds me...h3h h3h h3h...she's "engaged"...at youth group last night, we had to draw three lines out of a bucket and use them in an improv skit. well, ann was in a group with four boys...no other girls. and one of the lines they drew...you guessed it, "will you marry me?" guess what lucky girl got asked to marry someone?? it was hilarious...but about 65% of the hilarity is from the fact that ann is a self-professed tomboy and the guy who "asked" her is one of her (and my) good friends. i just think it's a riot and love teasing her about it...because she did actually say "yes" ;)

anyway, now that i've gone TOTALLY all over the board with that, i shall shut my random mouth and post something else later! (hopefully a bit more organized!) ;)

-enna

a bit of this, a pinch of that

mundane tidbits:

i entered a poetry contest as a joke, then forgot about it. then about six weeks later, i got an email back saying they chose my poem to be published in their quarterly book! i filled out the necessary paperwork...and forgot about it again until the quarterly came in the mail earlier this week. i'm a published poet...and it was a JOKE!! *sigh* here's the poem:

Fear
I am cowering before the night
The darkness hides my deepest dread
Terror threatens to overwhelm
All I am inside

Can anyone even hear me
Won't anyone come
I am frightened of the darkness in my mind
Please, someone, come and
Save me from my fear

Now I hear a voice saying to
Stand and face my fear
I am not on my own
Someone is with me I cannot see

I will stand before the night
I will not fall
I am not on my own
I can face my fear

in other news, i somehow worked up the courage to take my two littlest sisters (age 8 and 6) to the movies and the beach...by myself. i think i lost my mind momentarily when i volunteered to take them to the beach. i was already taking them to the movies, then i figured, "hey, what the heck, i'm babysitting anyway, so i'll just take them to the beach." my sisters are very energetic, to put it mildly. my littlest sister is almost as bad as my boyfriend's little brother. however, they behaved very well and were extremely happy that i took them. if they keep behaving like that, i may start doing stuff like that more often.

as a last tidbit, i've started going to wednesday night services at my boyfriend's church. at first when i started going, i was somewhat nervous and uncomfortable, and didn't know what to expect. i've started getting more used to it now (though i've yet to contribute to any discussion we've had, whether i've had something to offer or not). what still throws me sometimes is the fact that at a PROTESTANT denomination's service, CATHOLIC saints are discussed. i just find it more than a little odd. the first two weeks, we discussed st. john of the cross and st. bernard of clairvoux. yesterday, the selection was from francois fenelon, a Protestant pastor (makes a little more sense to me), but next week we'll be discussing a selection from st. augustine's confessions, and the week after that we'll be discussing thomas merton (Catholic), a trappist monk who died in 1968. *blinks* i did look through the different selections, and the book that has these selections has about half to two-thirds coming from the doctors and fathers of the Church, and the rest coming from Protestant writers. i don't know if this is typical of Protestants, but it still sorta throws me once in a while.

anyhoo, that's it for now. valete.

-enna

happy 4th of july!

happy independence day! on july 4, 1776, delegations from the thirteen american colonies declared independence from britain. how differently we would view this day if we had NOT won the revolutionary war. but do we remember WHY we fought this war in the first place? why do we celebrate the fourth of july?

INDEPENDENCE...and FREEDOM.

what is this "freedom"? we don't have anarchy; we still have a system of government; we still have laws. but how can we say we are "free" if we have restrictions? the laws give us our basic rights as human beings: to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. we have the RIGHT to life. we have the RIGHT to choose what we want to do. we have the RIGHT to search out happiness in this world and in the next. when america follows these principles, she is great. when america forgets these basic rights, she begins to become less great. alexis de toqueville, a mapmaker from france from the nineteenth century, wrote in his book Democracy in America, "america is great because she is good. if america ceases to be good, she will cease to be great." he's a whole lot wiser than an 18 year old college freshman (me), and it still stands true. if america looses her morality, she sinks to the level of those she stands against - those communists and socialists and anarchists who wish to tell everyone what to do and not permit them the right to choose.

i haven't really discussed political issues on here before, but i'm sure many people, not even hearing me debate politics or whatnot, would peg me as a conservative. i'm not even sure conservative is the right word, though, because some of the conservatives are as loony as the liberals. what i am is a person who LIKED the constitution that was set up, and would prefer that our country return to the government outlined by the constitution. i wish to see the three basic rights of humanity returned to ALL citizens, regardless of age. i wish that people could walk freely in the street and not be accused of bigotry because they dislike obama's politics. (i don't like any of the white guys who have politics like obama; why would i change my mind just because of skin color?) i wish that my beautiful country would remember why she was founded, and why men died - and are still dying - for her. i wish that america could, once again, be good.

happy independence day.

-enna

as if i don't have enough jobs...

yah, i already work at two different YMCAs as a lifeguard, but hey...i'm not busy enough! although i my last day at one is july 31...but i started an internship at a local radio station, and I'M LOVING IT!!! i'd job shadowed once, and enjoyed it a lot. so i set up an internship on monday nights, the 5 pm show, and started today. i really enjoyed it! both times i've gone in, i've met new people from the community, and i've learned a lot about radio. this time, i actually ran the control board for the last fifteen minutes. SAWEET!! i was on air last time. anyway, i'm having a BLAST!! (as you can probably tell from the many caps that i'm using to communicate my excitement ;) )

i'll probably post something insanely philosophical sometime soon. in the meantime, i'd like to share a video...it shares the story of the lonely ninja...and i shall bid you all farewell! :)

-enna

CHWC ROCKS!!!

so, i promised last post that i'd post more about CHWC (short for Catholic Heart Work Camp) and i just want to say that it's absolutely amazing...although something you as a reader need to keep in mind is that yes, my experience was awesome, particularly as i served, but you don't have to go to a huge shindig like CHWC to serve others. in your community, many many people probably need help. so you can get the same good feeling about helping others WITHOUT the hefty price tag! anyway, the easiest way to do this is to go day-by-day, so here goes a rundown of my week-long journey!

DAY 0 - saturday, june 12

ok, technically the trip was the 13-19, but bear with me. my youth group, called keysis, went to CHWC with the youth group from a parish in a nearby community, and we had a lock-in the night before we left. it started at 7 pm, but my sister and i didn't get there until after 10 because we got dragged - oh, sorry, i mean went to a "picnic" for the Catholic homeschool community in the town we'll be moving to. anyway, we got there and i was promptly set upon by my best galfriend, and we went crazy from there. :) as if i hadn't eaten enough at the picnic, i also had some pizza and dr. pepper...WHEEEEE...and around 10:30, a whole bunch of us went upstairs to the gym of the school and played volleyball. we had anywhere from six to nine people on a team (we rotated people in and out each time), and had a BLAST! renwen was having conniption fits the entire time...i still can't figure it out...i didn't get hit in the head with the ball or trip over my own feet even once. ;) i also can't figure out how, after not playing volleyball for six years, i was BETTER than i was when i was practicing and playing at least two or three times a week. go figure. anyway, we played until around midnight. OH yah...you haven't lived until you've played volleyball that late at night. it's awesome. ;)

DAY 1 - sunday, june 13

so by that time, it was sunday. we went back downstairs and ate a little more, then around 12:30 the adults set up the big-screen TV in angela hall and we all laid down to watch up. a very good movie, yes, but by that time i was exhausted. and fell asleep less than 20 minutes into the movie. it was sad...our evil adults (lol jk) woke us up at 3:45 am, and we changed clothes, brushed teeth, etc, and dragged all our luggage outside to wait for the bus. it got to the church around 4:30, and we somehow managed to fit 34 people's bags and snacks and water in the storage compartments and all of us on the bus by 5 am, and were on the road! pretty much everyone went back to sleep at that point. (incidentally, i came to the conclusion that sleeping on the floor in angela hall - only on a sleeping bag, and the floor was carpet with little to no padding - was more comfortable than sleeping on the buss. go figure.) we stopped for lunch at 11:30 central, 12:30 eastern time for lunch in ohio (hence multiple times). from this point until i say otherwise, times are in the eastern time zone, not central. about an hour later, we all piled back into the bus and drove on to toledo, ohio. after doing the chinese fire drill at a train (then turning around and going around it because it was just SITTING there), we finally got to cardinal stritch high school, unloaded all our stuffs, took a picture (we all looked lovely after being on a bus for the better part of eight hours), took our stuffs into the school, split up (boys down one hallway, girls down the other), dumped our stuff in our classroom, and ran for program. we got there around 2, and program started at 2:30. so we ran.

at program, we got our work assignments for the week. i was placed with a group of 3 work teams (6-7 people each) that was assigned to help a community garden/juvenile delinquent rehabilitation center. we then got some free time before dinner and used it to go back to our room and start setting up our beds - we didn't want to sleep on the tile floor! we had a LOT of girls in our room - we had pathways between the beds that were only about six inches wide. after dinner, we had activities to help our individual work teams get to know each other better. this went anywhere from playing two truths and a lie to trust exercises. for one, we each took turns standing on a balance board, pulling our arms close to our chest, and closing our eyes. our team members were supposed to catch us and keep us from falling. i don't like exercises like that...anyway, after those were done, we had Mass. it was very uplifting and powerful. after Mass, we went back to our room and finished setting up beds and crashed.

DAY 2 - monday, june 14

we were awoken at 6:15 am by very off-key singing...our lovely staff members singing some parody of a popular song (that i didn't recognize) that talked about hard-boiled eggs...by 6:45 we were in the cafeteria, eating breakfast, and were in the gym by 7:30 for morning program. it was short and sweet, after which everyone dispersed to get the things they needed for the day. on my team, i was assigned to be a break coordinator - also known as "grab the lunch or deal with very upset team members" girl. i didn't forget the lunches any day though. ;) we were on the worksite from about 9 am to 3 pm, then headed back to the school. as someone 18 or over, i had to wait to shower...sigh...daily Mass was at 4:30 each day, and i made it each day. and would go shower after that, and then eat dinner. between getting back and Mass, i generally changed out of my sweaty, smelly (compost does not smell as lovely as one might think) clothes and took a nap. after dinner, we had some free time before evening program started at 7:30. our youth groups generally spent that time playing wacky games such as ninja, bunny-bunny, and sleep-dart. it was nuts. at evening program, we generally had some upbeat music, some fun and crazy contests, and a visit with mr. rogers before they calmed us down for the serious portion. one of the staff members would talk to us, and we would sing some praise and worship music. total time for evening program was about 1 1/2 hours. then we had some more free time before the optional Rosary at 10 pm. (which, once again, i went to.) that was only offered monday, tuesday, and thursday...for reasons you will understand once i describe wednesday...anyway, after Rosary, i went to bed. wheee, right? :P (each night, we had to be in our rooms by 10:30 and lights out by 11 unless otherwise noted.)

DAY 3 - tuesday, june 15

commonly called "taco tuesday". on tuesday during CHWC, they do tacos for dinner. also, after evening program, we do DANCE PARTY!!! it was awesome :D :D other than those two things, though, tuesday wasn't much different from monday. actually, monday's formula was the basic formula for the four days we were working. until about 3-4 pm, each day was pretty close to the same.

DAY 4 - wednesday, june 16

the only notable thing that happened before evening program was that the staff members on wakeup call decided to do a parody of "party in the USA" by miley cyrus. (actually, though, i think i preferred their version...) evening program that night started early - 6:30. after our normal evening program, we had the four corners experience. the staff members set up four stations of prayer that campers could go to, as well as a corner for quiet meditation or discussion with another camper. one corner was the Sacrament of Reconciliation, another was for prayer for healing, another prayer for matters of faith, and the last was prayer for others. this went until about 10:30, at which time each youth group went to a separate area on its own to have a prayer time. that wrapped up around 11, after which keysis had to clean up the cafeteria. :P we finally got to bed around 11:30.

DAY 5 - thursday, june 17

they couldn't even be merciful and let us sleep in...it was our last day of work, so we had a cookout!! most everything was done, so we took about two hours to eat...it was fantastic. such good food...nom nom...we got back and i (once again) napped and wrote some affirmative notes to some of the people from the week until Mass...which they moved to 5 so that people could have time to finish their work and come back to shower before Mass. (course, they ALSO moved the girls' shower time so that it ended at 5 instead of 4:45 like it had all week...we almost were able to shower before Mass...sigh...) after Mass, i showered, and dinner got moved to 6. i didn't get in to dinner until 6:30 (i don't remember why, so don't ask), and program started at 7 instead of 7:30. we invited everyone that we helped to come to the program and say a few words. we probably had an additional hundred people there. realizing the impact that we'd had on the community was astounding. so many people were so grateful for all the work that we did...it was very humbling to hear their words of praise. they spoke for close to an hour! obviously, our program was longer than our standard evening program, but it was so uplifting and affirming...in short, it was one of the most amazing experiences of the week. they moved times back to accommodate the later program (and because it was the last day of work). we had to be in our rooms by 11 and lights out by 11:30. (the entire week, i think i only stayed awake until lights out on monday.)

DAY 6 - friday, june 18

they didn't wake us up at 6:15 on friday! yippee! wakeup was at 7, but i woke up at 6:20 and was almost entirely packed by the time wakeup was called. i finished packing and then went to eat breakfast. the morning program was also moved back to 8...i had a lot of dead time on my hands from waking up 40 minutes early. ;) anyway, for morning program, they showed a summary video from the week. they had video footage from the staff arriving, all of the campers arriving, registration, the first day's activities, the worksites, evening programs, morning programs, skits done by different youth groups, speakers, Dante (who did the music)...it was probably at least 45 minutes long. we then had a final Mass, grabbed our stuff, threw it on the bus, and took group pictures (after we had NOT been on a bus for eight hours) before we headed off to cedar point for the free day. after being at cedar point from 12 to 9pm that day, i can OFFICIALLY say that i HATE roller coasters. renwen was a dear and stuck with me (even though she loved the blue streak almost as much as i hated it) as we went on some other (funner) rides. at 9, keysis and the other youth group met back up and headed to the bus. after changing clothes and a restroom stop, we all climbed back on the bus and prepared to ride through the night. we had a nice prayer session while we were on the bus, then had a toy story marathon. i got all the way through the first one and about twenty minutes into the second before i crashed.

DAY 7 - saturday, june 19

i woke up around 3:45 (we're back in central time, folks!) when we stopped at a rest stop for the bus driver. i really admire that guy...he managed to drive all night and NOT crash us. i know i couldn't've done it. anyway, i stayed awake until we got to the west side of champaign, then called ma to let her know that we were 45 minutes away. yep, i called her at 4 am. don't you just wish i had called YOU, too? ;) anyway, i sorta dozed off and on from champaign back to the church where we were dropped off, at which point we unloaded the bus, said goodbye to everyone, and went home...we got back to my house around 5:30. i brushed my teeth, dumped my stuff, called renwen to ask her to grab the hat that we forgot, and crashed solidly until 8. yippee!!

so, ladies and gentlemen, that was my CHWC experience in a nutshell. it's hard to condense an entire week into a blog post...so many good things happened; we were truly blessed to serve! God bless you all!

-enna