a hard truth

I was going to name this post "THE hard truth", but I realized (thankfully before I posted it) that all truths are hard in some way or another. I wanted to confront something on Facebook that I see making the rounds occasionally.

If you're familiar with Facebook at all, you know about the "like" pages. You know, the ones that don't actually represent any person or corporation, but are just ideas? Yeah, those are the ones I'm talking about. The ones that can drive you INSANE because someone you know will like twenty million of them and they ALL show up in your news feed. And there are probably a minimum of fifty variations of every single one that you see up there. I don't know about you, but these things drive me nuts. They're so POINTLESS!

Anyway, I saw one that a lot of my gal friends had "liked". It said, "No man is worth crying over, and when you find the one who is, he won't make you cry."

Quite frankly, I find this to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard, ESPECIALLY when it comes to relationships. 

It takes two to make a relationship work. Not one. Two. And guess what, ladies and gentlemen...no one is perfect. That's right! You heard me say it! I'm not perfect, you're not perfect, your best friend isn't perfect, and your "perfect guy" or "perfect gal" that you've been holding in your imagination, waiting for him or her to come along, is no more perfect than the rest of us. Ladies, I'm sorry, but the Perfect Man isn't here anymore. Errare est humanum. (See? I learned something in six years of Latin!) In English: To err is human. We mess up. Seems like it's pretty well constant sometimes, too.

That means that the guy worth crying over is probably going to make you cry at some point. Face facts, ladies: the ONLY way he'd never make you cry is if he's perfect. Actually, if he's perfect, he'd still probably make you cry. Relationships are about two people coming together to share one life. That means compromises and challenges that will make you into a better person.

You're still two people. You have two separate brains, two totally different thinking processes. (Seems like guys may as well be a different species, they're wired so differently.) Those thinking processes are not always going to run parallel. In fact, you're liable to clash spectacularly at least once. Which means that (especially if you cry easily) ANY AND EVERY GUY IS PROBABLY GOING TO MAKE YOU CRY AT SOME POINT.

And you know what? It's OK. 

It's OK as long as you don't immediately shut him down in any attempt to reconcile. It's OK as long as you recognize the problem and attempt to confront it. It's OK, because if he truly cares about you, he'll help you through the tears and come at it from a different angle to help you better understand his perspective. Plus you won't be as crazy either, because after the tears have settled, your emotions will be calm too. You will be able to better express your side of things.

Love is hard. But it is worth it.

-enna